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Malone,
It’s typical of a pedant’s nature to react thus. I wonder if, like me, you were brought up in a household where the response to “is the kettle boiling?” was always “ No, but the water is”.
And so our whole life was mapped out thereafter. Wouldn’t swap it though!

Malone

Glad you enjoyed the story. I have heard the "how many beans...." question a few times so I was pleased Simple Simon gave me the answer. I must go to the cafe and explain it to Cassie.

Yes, I have heard a lot of misplaced adjectival clauses on the news recently. e.g.

He admitted downloading images in court on Tuesday. Can you do that in a court?

SimpleSimon, yes - things such as 'is the kettle boiling?' should annoy me, but I am afraid I am only human. I think I've occasionally said 'That kettle has just boiled' if someone goes to switch it on. I have decided that my version is basically just shorthand -why say 'the water in that kettle has just boiled' when a shorter version is availabe?

Jigjag, I liked your adjectival clause example, a perfect specimen!

Jigjag, Malone,
I’m reminded of Neil Parish of ‘tractor porn’ fame.
Had it been said “he admitted downloading images in parliament on Tuesday”, that would have been accurate!
(He’s no longer an MP).

Jono

I missed the tractor porn story. I have seen MPs using their phones in parliament, so I suppose he was looking at tractor porn, but I cant imagine what that is.

I went to the market café this morning, hoping to tackle Cassie about the over-charging, but as usual she thwarted me.

“I’m glad you’re here, I’ve got the answer.” she said, and proudly produced a tin of Heinz Five Beanz from under the counter. She read from the label “Haricot, Pinto, Cannellini, Borlotti, Red Kidney.”

“How interesting” I replied.

“Well, what are you having?” she asked.

After all the problems with multi-item breakfasts, I decided to order something simple. “Beans on toast and a cup of tea please.”

I thought I detected a faint smile, and a twinkle in her eye.

When she served the food, the piece of toast had just one of each variety of bean, arranged beautifully on it.

“There” she said. “that’s how many beans make five!”

Jigjag, thanks - a lovely tale. I am sure Cassie enjoyed every minute of her 'revenge'. That'll teach you to cross swords with someone in charge of portion control!

jigjag

Very amusing story but I agree with Malone. I think you got what you asked for!

I have only used those beans on a salad, not sure they go with toast, but I am sure you enjoyed your feast.

Malone, Grunger

Thank you for your observations - glad you liked the story.

I think you are suggesting that I change my approach, and I will heed that advice.

Jigjag,
If you wish to have a treat,
Cassie’s is the place to eat,
Good food, good craic,
Just don’t argue back,
This wily old bird will have you beat!