Crossword Help Forum
Forum Rules

Grunger, Orson, Tyke,

I'm glad we all know our place in life - I'm aspiring, aspiring to be a lowlife or low life, I haven't quite made up my mind.

It was nice to see several examples of low life/lowlife/low-life in the Times crossword today!

Social distancing while taking your daily walk is proving to be a hazardous task. Jigjag`s carat-stick invention is currently undergoing rigorous testing by the Home Office under their `Personal Isolation Keeping Equipment` scheme (PIKE).

Other ideas include carrying a large voracious freshwater fish with you or, perhaps more realistically, a 2 metre long spear.

Tyke

I love the Pike ideas - I am just going out now, but empty-handed today.

Tyke

Just thought - why not market your spear as Tyke's Pyke

Malone

Sorry for the delay in replying. I am afraid I must decline your invitation to be Chairman. I know my place, and I accept the categories that Grunger mentioned were in the Times crossword. I am down there with the humble amoeba.

I know she wears grunge, grunger, so she will be delighted to see plainclothes man, or woman in her case, as an answer.

I didn't see a category that suited you but it might appear another day.

Tyke

I should have been at Lords for a few days and I suppose you would have been at Headingly, such good weather too. But the BBC are still showing the fixtures so we cant be far away.

Jigjag

Tough times for everyone - lets hope we get some cricket this summer.
I`ve booked usual Hotel at Scarb for our 2 championship games there, also the festival week at Cheltenham in July - fingers crossed. Lord`s is my favourite ground, a couple of years ago I did the Lord`s tour before seeing Donny play at Millwall the same evening - happy day (but we lost!)

Tyke, Grunger, Jigjag

Tyke ,
I loved your PIke stuff (not pikestaff) and am really looking forward to the launch of your company, Tyke's Pikes.

Grunger

If you're at a loose end, perhaps you could spend time designing a new household implement. I have no idea what would be involved, I just want to add 'Grunger's Plungers' to our skills list.

Jigjag,

Sorry to hear the Chairmanship is unappealing. I'm sure you'd have been perfect, but if you don't want the responsibility... As Pedants United has now branched off into an employment/self-employment agency, I wonder if you could perhaps help out on the catering front? Tyke and Grunger will be overseeing the production line - of their pikes and plungers - and ensuring that we meet all safety requirements, health and safety needs etc. I'd like to ensure that they are adequately fed throughout, so I thought you could be in charge of lunches. How does 'Master Of The Rolls' sound? Would you be interested in the position? (I must be honest and say that part of the appeal of appointing you is that I'm hoping you'd be able to get substantial discounts from your friends in the catering world. I bet you Ivan Napple could be persuaded to give you mates' rates).

Tyke

Good luck for Scarb and Cheltenham - I hope "small" crowds are allowed by then but those matches might not qualify. I have tickets for 2 Tests in August but am not hopeful. Lets hope some sport is allowed. I think Sir K wants it and Theresa May would certainly have allowed some in June I'm sure.

Malone

I accept your invitation to be Master of the Rolls. I already hold that title of course, but Mrs J is not happy that I wont let her drive it. But she can help me with the catering side of the title. I must ring Ivan and ask about discounts. He will surely salsify our request.

I have heard that Grunger is re-training as a plumbress, as there is no future for dancers. I think Grungers Plungers would indeed be an excellent name for her company.

Jigjag

I wonder if you should really be 'Grand Master Of The Rolls' if you'll be holding two titles simultaneously? I'm glad you'll have help on the catering side, both from Mrs Jigjag and from the Master Of The Market, Ivan. I liked the idea of him being able to 'salsify' our request - I'm sure he knows his onions … and his leeks and his cucumbers...

Although Grunger may be pleased to train as a 'plumbress', I think it's an extremely unappealing word - it both looks and sounds ugly. I wonder if Grunger would be content to be known as 'The Wench With A Wrench' ?