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Tyke51,

After I posted, I realised the 'Grammar Police' job would be ideal for any PU member who's chafing at the current restrictions. Not only would we get to go out and about, we'd also get to indulge our pedantic natures. I've never seen the position advertised, but I'll apply in a nano-second if I do.

I did/do quite like your little joke, but part of me thought, 'Oh no, it's that one again'. Still, I quite like the idea of something being closed or cancelled due to 'foreseen circumstances'.

Grunger,

Tasty clue in today`s SE Skeleton ...

... Each one contains pastry (6)

Parallelogram

I was pleased to see your posting as it reminded me that we talked a lot about barbers, who always seem to get the apostrophe in the wrong place, about a year ago. I go to Daves'. There is only one Dave of course.

I did a short report which Malone and asetter were kind enough to think was amusing. I am desperate for a haircut, and a shave, as my beard is as long as Tyke's, so am hoping the restrictions will be eased soon.

Malone and Tyke

I am pleased to hear that the Spectator agrees with us. The other night they re-played part of Johnson's statement and he clearly says "You must stay at home". It is irritating that Raaab over-ruled him.

I will certainly apply for the Grammar Police role when it is advertised.

Probably unfair to pick on the Beeb when most of their staff are working from home but ...

... the Government `lockdown policy` will be reviewed in a couple of wees

... Garden Centre`s may reopen soon

Tyke

I am prepared to forgive them in the circumstances, as you say. But I am surprised that they leaked the first item.

I have only been to a GC for a meal so hope they open soon.

Malone

I loved 13A in the EV yesterday. I have often been accused of being the 5-letter English equivalent and have always wondered what the female version is. Now I will be able to reply "actually I'm a 13A"

Jigjag

I would love to hear about your next visit to the barbers. I have never been to one.

Grunger,

For 13 A, I expected you to lay claim to a version that would have one of the '-ess' endings?

I suppose we'll have to wait until lockdown is over before Jigjag has any hair-rasing (!) tales.

Malone

I thought just putting -ess on the end would be wrong, and to drop the e and have it end in -ress seemed even worse, so for once I am happy to speak French.

Yes, when Jigjag has let his locks down, he can raise them for us!

Boycott is not the only (occasionally) obnoxious Yorkshire cricketer who has irritated me. I recall watching a Benson and Hedges Cup match at Perth in the 1980s in which there were two tea intervals. The rule about the tea interval had been changed from a set time to between the innings. The then Yorkshire captain, David Bairstow (late father of the sainted Jonny), claimed that he had not heard in time and refused. Yorkshire posted a substantial total whereupon Scotland stopped for tea. Not long afterwards, at about 4.00, Yorkshire came off for tea. This meant, of course, that the Scotland batsmen, who were struggling anyway, had an enforced break and had to make a new start against the refreshed Yorkshire bowlers.
Sadly, owing to the collapse in the standard of Perthshire CC, the North Inch in Perth is no longer used for cricket.

Parallelogram

I`m sorry you have such a dislike of Yorkshire Cricketers - the umpires control matches and normally agree on the match regulations, intervals etc, with both captains and the groundsman.

I`ve never seen cricket in Scotland but have enjoyed televised games from there - one against Afghanistan, in Edinburgh I think, was brilliant.

Many Scottish people come to Headingley for Test Matches - last season I met someone who had come to Scarborough for the week to watch Yorkshire. Gavin Hamilton was a talented Cricketer who played for England briefly, won a Championship with Yorkshire, captained Scotland and played for Durham. I think he`s still playing club cricket for Guiseley - in short I`ve never encountered any animosity between Yorkshire and Scotland concerning cricket.