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ChrisE, a version of your harp thing ('I took my harp...') features in a Gracie Fields' song.

Grunger

Sorry to hear your skirt is not appropriate. I will continue to look out for pie opportunities and performing opportunities. It might have to be one or the other, though I was hoping to combine both.

Jigjag

You too are giving up piping? My employment agency, careers advice centre, isn't doing very well. H'mm, if you invested in some of the holey jeans, you could be The Hobo With An Oboe. I wonder if Britain's Got Talent would be interested in that.

malone

I am pleased to say that I have got an audition for the role of the Pie Piper on Thursday at the BBC studios in Salford. I will have all Wednesday to learn how to play Jigjag's bagpipes. They provide a harp, a piano and an accompanist, but you can take your own if you wish. If ChrisE or Jigjag would like to accomany me, that would be great.

Grunger
Great news! I hope all goes well on Thursday. I think you should take along some of your pies - the finer specimens, not those with rather outlandish flavours. Just tell the auditioning board that this is a thematic gesture, we wouldn't want them to think you were trying to bribe your way into the job.

My musical knowledge is probably on a par with my knowledge of cricket, but there seems something not quite right about a harp accompanying bagpipes. Are you sure they didn't say there would be a 'harpie' there, ie a dragon of an interviewer? I think ChrisE and Jigjag - and any other PU member who wants to get involved - should accompany you … on the journey to Salford or in a musical sense.

Sorry grunger, I'm busy that day (when was it?)

ChrisE

Although your comment made me laugh, I was disappointed that you feel unable to support Grunger. We must all do our bit, encourage others in new ventures and so on. Still, I'm sure other PU members will rise to the challenge - and accompanying bagpipes definitely IS a challenge.

Malone

I also liked ChrisE's quip, but as it happens, I am available on Thurs morning to accompany Grunger, in the musical sense. I will take a few instruments but I will make my own way there.

I see what you mean that they probably didn't say there would be a harp there. It might have been a harpoon, which does not sound promising.

Jigjag

Great to hear that you and Grunger will pair up again - Wigan, Salford … who knows where you'll end up next. It'd be lovely if we got one of your reports afterwards - those are always informative and amusing.

PS If you send Grunger a quick telegram, I think she'll have time to make you a few pies. I wouldn't mention mincemeat as I think everyone's sick of that, but maybe minced meat (and onion) would be good.

Jigjag

Thanks for bringing the bagpipes yesterday, also the book "Teach Yourself Bagpipes" by Wyn de Bagge, the famous half-Welsh, half-Dutch composer.

I have been practising this morning and would like to play "Amazing Grace" at the audition tomorrow.

Malone

The pies are baked, some normal, some exotic. I am really quite nervous as I have only auditioned for the stage (am-dram and dancing parts) before.

Grunger

You will be fine. Amazing Grace is a good choice, I will accompany you on piano. An alternative is the Adagio from "Duet for Pipes" (with me on oboe), one of Mozart's lesser-known works.

I hope 5D in the Times crossword today inspired your baking.

Grunger and Jigjag

Thanks for your posts and your continued enthusiasm for tomorrow's audition.

Grunger

Although 'Amazing Grace' is one of my least favourite pieces - it's featured in too many funerals - I think it is a good choice for tomorrow. It will no doubt show your mastery of your instruments. Remember, the auditioning panel are looking for performers who will be demonstrating the versatility of the pipes, so any little improvisations could be warmly received.

It's understandable to be a little nervous, but try to think of the elation you will feel after delivering a superb performance. You and Jigjag can dance a celebratory Highland fling afterwards … h'mm, maybe that could feature in your audition?