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Ros
You must have impressed the man greatly for him to let you have a garden sculpture.
Of course, smuggling was involved (gin, silk, lace and tea) but also attempted murder by stabbing . The lady was saved as her whalebone corset blocked the knife from entering her body;
"Ladies of the night" providing "services for sailors" when tall ships were moored on the quay. Plenty of dubious parenthood, and more......!

JG
Yes, it was a very expensive garden sculpture.

The smuggling and attempted murder sounds most exciting. those corsets must have been hell, but if it saved her life...!

My husband has/d Ferdinandos in his family tree, in Cornwall, very soon after the Armada.

Ros
We have Ferdinandos here in Surrey and in my village.

I should mention that the lady wearing the corset was a notorious member of my family and her reputation was probably the reason for the knife being used on her.

Nothing since April? The coffee may be a bit cold by now. Here's one:

The father of a friend of mine passed away recently and he was telling me about the funeral.

"Before it started, a man approached me and said, 'You don't know me but I was a friend of your father's. I wonder if I might say a word during the service.' I said that would be nice, and so during the funeral he stood up and said 'Plethora'. After the service, I went up to him and said 'Thanks, that meant a lot.' "

Buddy, I liked the little funeral story - thanks.

This thread kind of spluttered and died - and I think many of us forgot about it. Still, Norah (administrator) doesn't mind us having chatty threads from time to time - anecdotes, funny stories, the occasional moan... I think these are all welcome. When the idea was first mooted - and then settled on, the main caveat seemed to be that we weren't to clog up the weekends - the busiest time for crosswords.

I haven't had anything interesting to say, no little stories, but if I did, I might name the thread 'Wednesday Waffle' or 'Who Cares About Beans?'. I'm sure that second title would mystify people, they're bound to read my ramblings then!

I was reminded of a couple of my favourite Thomas Beecham stories recently, that I'd like to share.

"Adrian Boult came round to see me last night, positively reeking of Horlicks"

At a reception he met a young lady who he knew he knew, but couldn't remember who she was. He resorted to the practies "dear lady".

"How nice to see you, dear lady. How are you?"
"Very well, thank you, Sir Thomas. How are you?"
"Very well, thank you, dear lady. How is your family?"
"Well, my father is very much improved"
"Ah yes, your father. What is he doing now/"
"Well, he's still king.....

A poem for Halloween by Anthony Etherin (courtesy of Twitter). There’s something clever about it ;-)

HALLOWEEN 🎃
It's Halloween, the ill-fated night.
The gallows: teeth, nailed in filth.
Then Death itself, wailing to Hell....

Looks like every line is an anagram?

Demetri Martin - "Hold my beer"

Dammit I’m mad.
Evil is a deed as I live.
God, am I reviled? I rise, my bed on a sun, I melt.
To be not one man emanating is sad. I piss.
Alas, it is so late. Who stops to help?
Man, it is hot. I’m in it. I tell.
I am not a devil. I level “Mad Dog”.
Ah, say burning is, as a deified gulp,
In my halo of a mired rum tin.
I erase many men. Oh, to be man, a sin.
Is evil in a clam? In a trap?
No. It is open. On it I was stuck.
Rats peed on hope. Elsewhere dips a web.
Be still if I fill its ebb.
Ew, a spider… eh?
We sleep. Oh no!
Deep, stark cuts saw it in one position.
Part animal, can I live? Sin is a name.
Both, one… my names are in it.
Murder? I’m a fool.
A hymn I plug, deified as a sign in ruby ash,
A Goddam level I lived at.
On mail let it in. I’m it.
Oh, sit in ample hot spots. Oh wet!
A loss it is alas (sip). I’d assign it a name.
Name not one bottle minus an ode by me:
“Sir, I deliver. I’m a dog”
Evil is a deed as I live.
Dammit I’m mad.

I like it. Try this one, it’s a palindrome of anagrams…

MERMAIDS (also Anthony Etherin)

Marine sprites
semi-arch —
rawest
prettiness
luring,
charming deniers.

Amid, float, siren —
risen aloft,
maid nereids marching.

Ruling persistent waters,
chimeras persist —
remain.

Feeling a bit Clueless Jono ... but can see it now!