Well done, paul... - but I'm afraid any clue involving that dratted girl would get a big red X from me! The same goes for any clue involving it/IT, appeal, SA... and many other 'done to death' bits.
Jigjag
I'll assign Grunger to overseeing Emma's attire - and I'll happily take on the coaching role if I can bark out commands all day long. I won't know many of the technical terms, but will throw in the odd instruction such as 'time for an inside-outside backhand slice, surely?' Oh, and add a bit of topspin while you're at it.' I'm sure they use similar instructions in coaching sessions...