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Read out to me from a crime novel last night “...they entered the large secretary’s office....

The crime of body-shaming maybe?

Oh no, I missed out the second “.

I visited a garden centre this morning and they had PHEONIX date palms for sale.

rossim

Had they risen from the Ashes? Perhaps those were the ashes that Lancs CC were referring to.

Rossim

A few years ago YCCC decided to call its one-day cricket team `Yorkshire Phoenix` ... we all asked `when was the fire?`

Jigjag

Headingley`s got the `Ashes` fever too - we`ve got the new stand opening and the first 4 days of the Test are sold out . So much International cricket at Headingley this year we`re playing a 4-day game at York - which will be the first game there since Lord Hawke`s era !

Malone We all hope you`re keeping well and look forward to hearing from you soon!

Ten items or less. These signs still make me wince. The error must have been pointed out many times but they’re still there.

Cerasus and Jigjag, it's nice to be missed! I've just returned from a week in the sun. It turned into a bit of a busman's/ buswoman's/ busperson's holiday. I spent much of my time removing superfluous apostrophes, adding necessary apostrophes, and relocating misplaced adjectives ( a la 'large secretary's office').

Jigjag, any Mergers and Acquisitions updates for me? I've been looking forward to some Markado outings, but my hopes could be dashed. Another possible merger is giving me cause for concern. If Morrisons joins forces with Waitrose, 'Morose' seems a likely - but rather dreary - name.

Oh Malone, how lovely that you are back, though you may not feel that way!

There has been a lot of activity on Mergers/Acquisitions/Re-branding etc. I have been in touch with Tesco and Marks & Spencer and will do reports.

I love "Morose"! That is perfect now that "Sad" will be blocked.

Thanks, jigjag. At the risk of seeming obsessed, I have one final supermarket merger for you...if the Co-operative (Co-op to me) joined up with Asda, we could have 'Coda'. The tagline could be 'the last word in shopping'.

If you're heartily sick of supermarkets, feel free to return to your market research duties - ie you research the names, the sillier the better, of stallholders.

Sports commentators were mentioned in an earlier post. I find myself mildly irritated when football goalkeepers are congratulated on making a fine stop when they have merely deflected the ball away from the goal. A fine save, perhaps.
Pronunciation brings out the worst in people. I have a rule of thumb that, if a politician pronounces the indefinite article as ay rather than ah, then he is not telling the truth.