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would popcorn count if you had forgotten to eat any sweetcorn?

Why is it called lipstick if you can still move your lips?

This popcorn/sweetcorn thing. Does it really make any difference. As far as I can tell sweetcorn does you no good at all. It remains entirely untouched by the vigours of digestif biffidum (or whatever). Far better that your five a day comprises 3 bottles of wine and two tins of cider.

It got crowded in heaven, so, for one day it was decided only to accept people who had really had a bad day on the day they died. St. Peter was standing at the pearly gates and said to the first man, "Tell me about the day you died."

The man said, "Oh, it was awful. I was sure my wife was having an affair, so I came home early to catch her with him. I searched all over the apartment but couldn't find him anywhere. So I went out onto the balcony, we live on the 25th floor, and found this man hanging over the edge by his fingertips. I went inside, got a hammer, and started hitting his hands. He fell, but landed in some bushes. So, I got the refrigerator and pushed it over the balcony and it crushed him. The strain of the act gave me a heart attack, and I died."

St. Peter couldn't deny that this was a pretty bad day, and since it was a crime of passion, he let the man in.

He then asked the next man in line about the day he died. "Well, sir, it was awful," said the second man. "I was doing aerobics on the balcony of my 26th floor apartment when I twisted my ankle and slipped over the edge. I managed to grab the balcony of the apartment below, but some maniac came out and started pounding on my fingers with a hammer. Luckily I landed in some bushes. But, then the guy dropped a refrigerator on me!"

St. Peter chuckled, let him into heaven and decided he could really start to enjoy this job.

"Tell me about the day you died?", he said to the third man in line.

Well, there I was naked, hiding in a fridge........

Did Noah keep his bees in archives?

If life is a box of chocolates

why do I always get the nuts

How do you write zero in Roman numerals?

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You are driving down the road in your car on a wild, stormy night, when you pass by a bus stop and you see three people waiting for the bus:


1. An old lady who looks as if she is about to die.


2. An old friend who once saved your life.


3. The perfect partner you have been dreaming about.


Which one would you choose to offer a ride to, knowing that there could only be one passenger in your car? Think before you continue reading.


This is a moral/ethical dilemma that was once actually used as part of a job application. You could pick up the old lady, because she is going to die, and thus you should save her first. Or you could take the old friend because he once saved your life, and this would be the perfect chance to pay him back. However, you may never be able to find your perfect mate again.


(Answer shall be printed tomorrow...)

Not too difficult if you can spare the car temporarily. The real question is, how do you know the third party will prove to be the perfect partner?