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Sorry Terry, I really was being thick, wasn't I?
It's a good gag; I wish I'd thought of it. But it obviously would have taxed my brain too much.

Getting towards 1000 posts. Here's one more.

I've been banned from my local Polish Shop. They got sick of me going in and asking for Brasso.

I expect they got brassed off.

I've heard that Apple have scrapped their plans for the new children's ipod after realising that iTouch Kids is not a good product name.

=: The Family Tree of Vincent Van Gogh :=

His dizzy aunt -------------------- Verti Gogh
The brother who ate --------------- Gotta Gogh
The brother who worked at a convenience store -- Stop N Gogh
The grandfather from Yugoslavia --- U Gogh
His magician uncle ------------- Where-diddy Gogh
His Mexican cousin ------------- A Mee Gogh
The Mexican cousin's American half-brother --- Gring Gogh
The nephew who drove a stage coach - Wells-far Gogh
The constipated uncle ------------ Can't Gogh
The ballroom dancing aunt -------- Tang Gogh
The bird lover uncle ------------ Flamin Gogh
The fruit-loving cousin --------- Man Gogh
An aunt who taught positive thinking - Way-to-Gogh
The little bouncy nephew ----------- Poe Gogh
A sister who loved disco ----------- Go Gogh
And his niece who travels the country in an RV ---- Winnie Bay Gogh

I saw you smiling as you were reading... there ya Gogh!

I went on a safari to the serengeti and saw two male lions shagging each other. I thought "have they no pride".

WILTSHIRE POLICE Keeping you informed

Swindon Police Station Gablecross Shrivenham Road South Marston Swindon Wiltshire SN3 4RB Telephone: 0845 408 7000

Hi all,

This has been passed on via another Force area through our own Fraud Department In Wiltshire Constabulary, and it is a very convincing SCAM. We have been asked to disseminate the information as widely and was quickly as we can through Neighbourhood Watch, School Safe and others.

This one is pretty slick since they provide YOU with all the information, except the one piece they want. Note, the callers do not ask for your card number; they already have it. This information is worth reading. By understanding how the VISA & MasterCard Telephone Credit Card Scam works, you'll be better prepared to protect yourself.. One of our employees was called on Wednesday from "VISA", and I was called on Thursday from "MasterCard". The scam works like this: Person calling says, "This is (name), and I'm calling from the Security and Fraud Department at VISA. My badge number is 12460. Your card has been flagged for an unusual purchase pattern, and I'm calling to verify. This would be on your VISA card which was issued by (name of bank) did you purchase an Anti-Telemarketing Device for £497.99 from a Marketing company based in London ?" When you say "No", the caller continues with, "Then we will be issuing a credit to your account. This is a company we have been watching and the charges range from £297 to £497, just under the £500 purchase pattern that flags most cards. Before your next statement, the credit will be sent to (gives you your address), is that correct?" You say "yes". The caller continues - "I will be starting a fraud investigation. If you have any questions, you should call the 0800 number listed on the back of your card (0800-VISA) and ask for Security. You will need to refer to this Control Number. The caller then gives you a 6 digit number. "Do you need me to read it again?"

Here's the IMPORTANT part on how the scam works the caller then says, "I need to verify you are in possession of your card." He'll ask you to "turn your card over and look for some numbers." There are 7 numbers; the first 4 are part of your card number, the next 3 are the security numbers that verify you are the possessor of the card. These are the numbers you sometimes use to make Internet purchases to prove you have the card. The caller will ask you to read the 3 numbers to him. After you tell the caller the 3 numbers, he'll say, "That is correct, I just needed to verify that the card has not been lost or stolen, and that you still have your card. Do you have any other questions?" After you say, "No," the caller then thanks you and states, "Don't hesitate to call back if you do", and hangs up You actually say very little, and they never ask for or tell you the Card number .

But after we were called on Wednesday, we called back within 20 minutes to ask a question. Are we glad we did! The REAL VISA Security Department told us it was a scam and in the last 15 minutes a new purchase of £497.99 was charged to our card. Long story - short - we made a real fraud report and closed the VISA account. VISA is reissuing us a new number. What the scammers want is the 3-digit PIN number on the back of the card. Don't give it to them . Instead, tell them you'll call VISA or MasterCard directly for verification of their conversation. The real VISA told us that they will never ask for anything on the card as they already know the information since they issued the card! If you give the scammers your 3 Digit PIN Number, you think you're receiving a credit. However, by the time you get your statement you'll see charges for purchases you didn't make, and by then it's almost too late and/or more difficult to actually file a fraud report.

What makes this more remarkable is that on Thursday, I got a call from a "Jason Richardson of MasterCard" with a word-for-word repeat of the VISA scam. This time I didn't let him finish I hung up! We filed a police report, as instructed by VISA. The police said they are taking several of these reports daily! They also urged us to tell everybody we know that this scam is happening .

Please pass this on to all your family and friends.. By informing each other, we protect each other..

thanks for the info, but why hide it here on a thread with so many pages to wade through ? I only did so out of curiousity.

Thanks Celedon, but it seems The hoaxers are at it again! This is a rehash of a 2003 hoax which started off in the USA (as most of them do). It does read in a very sensationalist and American style and is not in the format I would expect from a UK police force release. (Being, myself a retired UK Police Officer) Too many CAPITALS for a start!
A quick Google of "Anti-Telemarketing Device" will reveal all.
Colin.