Crossword Help Forum
Forum Rules

Three dogs were sitting in the waiting room at the vet's when they struck up a conversation. The Yellow Lab turned to the Chocolate Lab and said, "So why are you here?"

The Chocolate Lab replied, "I'm a pisser. I piss on everything....the sofa, the curtains, the cat, the kids. But the final straw was last night when I pissed in the middle of my owner's bed."

The Yellow Lab said, "So what is the vet going to do?"

"Gonna cut my nuts off," came the reply from the Chocolate Lab. "They reckon it'll calm me down."

The Yellow Lab then turned to the Black Lab and asked "why are you here?"

The Black Lab said, "I'm a digger. I dig under fences, dig up flowers and trees, I dig just for the hell of it. When I'm inside, I dig up the carpets. But I went over the line last night when I dug a great big hole in my owners' couch."

"So what are they going to do to you?" the Yellow Lab inquired.

"Looks like I'm losing my nuts too," the dejected Black Lab said.

The Black Lab then turned to the Great Dane and asked, "Why are you here?"

"I'm a humper," the Great Dane. "I'll hump anything. I'll hump the cat, a pillow, the table, and fence posts, whatever. I want to hump everything I see.”

Yesterday, my owner had just got out of the shower and was bending down to dry her toes, and I just couldn't help myself. I hopped on her back and started hammering away."

The Black and the Chocolate Labs exchanged a sad glance and said, "So, it's nuts off for you too, huh?"

The Great Dane said, "No, I'm here to get my nails clipped.”

This thread had crept all the way down to page 17, but it's back!
In a menage-a-trois, does the most inhibited person get a bronze medal for coming third?

Thanks Bees - I been away.

Have you ever wondered what happens to old computers that you have sent for recycling? Here's the answer: http://www.nytimes.com/slideshow/2010/08/04/magazine/20100815-dump.html

Traveling down the interstate and needing to use the restroom,
I stopped at a rest area and headed to the restroom.


I was barely sitting down when I heard a voice from the other stall saying:
"Hi, how are you?"

I'm not the type to start a conversation in the restroom and I don't know what got into me,
But I answered, somewhat embarrassed,
"Doin' just fine!"

And the other person says:
"So what are you up to?"

What kind of question is that? At that point, I'm thinking this is too bizarre so I say:
"Uhhh, I'm like you, just traveling!"??

At this point I am just trying to get out as fast as I can when I hear another question.
"Can I come over?"

Ok, this question is just too weird for me but I figured I could just be polite and end the conversation.. I tell them
"No..I'm a little busy right now!!!"


Then I hear the person say nervously...
"Listen, I'll have to call you back. There's an idiot in the other stall who keeps answering all my questions


Cell phones, don't you just love them!

A friend of mine just started his own business, making landmines that look like prayer mats.
It's doing well.






He says Prophets are going through the roof.

So what's the answer to the poser at post 789? Is it the really obvious:

a) there are two counters that have black on one side, so it's a 50/50 chance as to which one you've picked. Therefore black and white are both equally likely to be the hidden colour.

Or is it the slightly less obvious (and probably the one I'd go for):

b) there are three ways you could be looking at a black side - by choosing the double-sided black counter and putting it down either way up, or by picking the black and white counter and placing it black side up. The first two of these will give black as the hidden colour and the third will give white, so black is twice as likely as white to be the hidden colour.

Two to one on that your original choice was a 'double' ie white/white or black/black. ergo two to one that 'down' side is same colour as visible side.

I think you meant to conclude 'Ergo two to one on that hidden side is same colour as visible side.'

I've just heard that my friend in Australia has been committed to a mental institution. Apparently he bought a new boomerang and went crazy trying to throw the old one away.

Little Bruce and Jenny are only 10 years old,
but they know they are in love.

One day they decide that they want to get married,
so Bruce goes to Jenny's father to ask him for her hand.

Bruce bravely walks up to him and says,
"Mr. Smith, me and Jenny are in love and I want to ask you for her hand in marriage."

Thinking that this was just the cutest thing,
Mr. Smith replies, "Well Bruce, you are only 10..
Where will you two live?"

Without even taking a moment to think about it,
Bruce replies, "InJenny's room. It's bigger than mine and we can both fit there nicely."

Still thinking this is just adorable, Mr. Smith says with a huge grin, "Okay, then how will you live?
You're not old enough to get a job.
You'll need to support Jenny."

Again, Bruce instantly replies, "Our allowance,
Jenny makes five pounds a week
and I make 10 pounds a week.
That's about 60 pounds a month, so that should do us just fine."

Mr. Smith is impressed Bruce has put so much thought into this.

"Well Bruce,it seems like you have everything figured out.
I just have one more question.
What will you do if the two of you should have
little children of your own?"

Bruce just shrugs his shoulders and says,
"Well, we've been lucky so far."

Mr. Smith no longer thinks the little shit is adorable.