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terry

4th July 2010, 17:03
I was discussing palindromes with a group of friends yesterday, they included;

Nell, Edna, Leon, Nedra, Anita, Rolf, Nora, Alice, Carol, Leo, Jane, Reed, Dena, Dale, Basil, Rae, Penny, Lana, Dave, Denny, Lena, Ida, Bernadette, Ben, Ray, Lila, Nina, Jo, Ira, Mara, Sara, Mario, Jan, Ina, Lily, Arne, Bette, Dan, Reba, Diane, Lynn, Ed, Eva, Dana, Lynne, Pearl, Isabel, Ada, Ned, Dee, Rena, Joel, Lora, Cecil, Aaron, Flora, Tina, Arden, Noel and Ellen




837 of 1953  -   Report This Post

michael

4th July 2010, 19:36
Favourite quotation:
'My girlfriend always laughs during sex - it doesn't matter what she's reading.'
838 of 1953  -   Report This Post

celadon

5th July 2010, 07:19
A young cowboy from Wyoming goes off to college. Halfway through the semester, he has foolishly squandered all his money. He calls home.
"Dad," he says, "You won't believe what modern education is developing! They actually have a program here in Laramie that will teach our dog, Ol' Blue, how to talk!" "That's amazing," his Dad says. "How do I get Ol' Blue in that program?"
"Just send him down here with $1,000" the young cowboy says. "I'll get him in the course."
So, his father sends the dog and $1,000. About two-thirds of the way through the semester, the money again runs out. The boy calls home.
"So how's Ol' Blue doing son?" his father asks.
"Awesome, Dad, he's talking up a storm," he says, "but you just won't believe this - they've had such good results they have started to teach the animals how to read!"
"Read!?" says his father, "No kidding! How do we get Blue in that program?"
"Just send $2,500, I'll get him in the class."
The money promptly arrives. But our hero has a problem. At the end of the year, his father will find out the dog can neither talk, nor read. So he shoots the dog.
When he arrives home at the end of the year, his father is all excited.
"Where's Ol' Blue? I just can't wait to see him read something and talk!"
"Dad," the boy says, "I have some grim news. Yesterday morning, just before we left to drive home, Ol' Blue was in the living room, kicked back in the recliner, reading the Wall Street Journal, like he usually does. Then he turned to me and asked, "So, is your daddy still messing around with that little redhead who lives down the street?"
The father exclaimed, "I hope you shot that son of a bitch before he talks to your Mother!"
"I sure did, Dad!"
"That's my boy!"


The kid went on to law school, and now serves in Washington D.C. as a Congressman.
839 of 1953  -   Report This Post

franco

6th July 2010, 14:14
Italian secret for a happy marriage.

At St. Peter's Catholic Church in Adelaide , they have weekly husband's marriage seminars.

At the session last week, the priest asked Giuseppe, who said he was approaching his 50th wedding anniversary,
to take a few minutes and share some insight into how he had managed to stay
married to the same woman all these years.

Giuseppe replied to the assembled husbands, 'Well, I'va tried to treat her nicea,
spenda da money on her, but besta of all is, I tooka her to Italy for the 25th anniversary!'

The priest responded, 'Giuseppe, you are an amazing inspiration to all the husbands here!
Please tell us what you are planning for your wife for your 50th anniversary?'

Giuseppe proudly replied, " I gonna go pick her up."
840 of 1953  -   Report This Post

terry

6th July 2010, 16:06
12 year old girl from Birmingham writes a letter to Jeremy Kyle;

Dear Jeremy;

I'm the only girl in my class that isn't pregnant. I'd like to appear on your show to find out whether its me or my brother whos infertile.
841 of 1953  -   Report This Post

bees

7th July 2010, 12:15
A Generation.
A familial generation is defined as the average time between a mother's first offspring and her daughter's first offspring. The generation length is 25.2 years in the United States as of 2007[2] and 27.4 years in the United Kingdom as of 2004[3]. (Wikipedia)

Or about 15 years. (Walsall pedia)
842 of 1953  -   Report This Post

celadon

13th July 2010, 08:54
If you like oriental games e.g. Go, then:-

http://qgo.sourceforge.net/

Please take the usual precautions when downloading.
843 of 1953  -   Report This Post

terry

13th July 2010, 11:45
Another 12 year old girl from Birmingham writes to Jeremy Kyle.

Dear Jeremy,
I am the only girl in my class who is still a virgin. Can I come on your show and find out whether my brother is gay.
844 of 1953  -   Report This Post

terry

13th July 2010, 11:57
Can some-one help me with my Call of Duty; French edition ?

it just loads up and then says the only option is "SURRENDER".
845 of 1953  -   Report This Post

john (from arran)

14th July 2010, 21:52
The Emu

An Aussie trucker walks into an outback cafe' with a full-grown emu behind him. The waitress asks them for their orders.

The trucker says, 'A hamburger, chips and a coke,' and turns to the emu, 'What's yours?' 'I'll have the same,' says the emu.

A short time later the waitress returns with the order 'That will be $9.40 please,' and he reaches into his pocket and pulls out the exact change for payment.

The next day, the man and the emu come again and he says, 'A hamburger, chips and a coke.' The emu says, 'I'll have the same.'

Again the trucker reaches into his pocket and pays with exact change.

This becomes routine until the two enter again. 'The usual?' asks the waitress.

'No, it's Friday night, so I'll have a steak, baked potato and a salad,' says the man. 'Same,' says the emu.

Shortly the waitress brings the order and says, 'That will be $32.62.'

Once again the man pulls the exact change out of his pocket and places it on the table.

The waitress cannot hold back her curiosity any longer. 'Excuse me mate, how do you manage to always come up with the exact change in your
pocket every time?'

'Well, love' says the trucker, 'a few years ago; I was cleaning out the back shed, and found an old lamp. When I rubbed it, a Genie appeared and offered me two wishes. My first wish was that if I ever had to pay for anything, I would just put my hand in my pocket and the right amount of money would always be there.'

'That's brilliant!' says the waitress. 'Most people would ask for a million dollars or something, but you'll always be as rich as you want for as long as you live!'

'That's right. Whether it's a gallon of milk or a Rolls Royce, the exact money is always there,' says the man.

The waitress asks, 'What's with the bloody emu?'

The trucker sighs, pauses, and answers .....




'My second wish was for a tall bird with a big arse and long legs, who agrees with everything I say.'
846 of 1953  -   Report This Post