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bees

13th April 2010, 17:22
Does anyone know why the makers of cheap jeans always cut them so badly? If the makers of expensive jeans can cut them to fit humans, why can't the cheap makers copy the cut? Is it a legal requirement that cheap jeans must not fit a normal human body? Is it a conspiracy? I blame the Government!
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helena

13th April 2010, 18:41
bees will be reading each political party's manifesto to see if is included and that's where my vote goes.

Just have a peep on the forum to see if its safe yet, but its Thursday when the trolls come out.
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celadon

15th April 2010, 08:49
Everything that is made abroad appears to be several sizes askew. Ordered some trainers a few months ago on 'tinternet (size 8), when they arrived my nephew who is size 6 couldn't get them on.
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celadon

15th April 2010, 08:50
BROWN DANGEROUSLY CLOSE TO REALISING WHAT'S WRONG WITH HIM.
GORDON Brown has taken another small step towards finally realising what's wrong with him, it emerged last night.
As the prime minster began to accept a limited degree of responsibility for the financial crisis, experts said he could now be just days away from a catastrophic episode of horrifying self-awareness.

Political psychiatrist, Dr Martin Bishop, said: "It is crucially important that his family and friends are there to support him because he may now be lining up his brain for a final approach into reality airport.

"When he finally hits the tarmac they are going to have to speed towards him in the fire engines of consolation, before drenching him with the thick, white foam of love and understanding."

Dr Bishop warned that Mr Brown could now be on the verge of accepting responsibility for selling Britain's gold reserves at the bottom of the market, destroying the private pension system while protecting the pensions of the people who vote for him, under-equipping British soldiers in Afghanistan and Iraq, using taxpayers money to save the Labour Party from bankruptcy and generally spending his entire career being a lying, manipulating, self-absorbed thug who has tried to smear and destroy every one of his opponents.

He added: "If each of these realities hit him in rapid succession, his psyche could then begin to collapse in on itself.

"That's why those closest to him must be on hand to try and prevent what will basically be the psychological equivalent of the Gestapo torturer whose face gets melted at the end of Raiders of the Lost Ark.

"Actually, on second thoughts, don't - I really want to see that."
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john (from arran)

15th April 2010, 13:05
Long ago when people cursed and beat the ground with sticks, it was called witchcraft. Today, it's called golf.
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helena

15th April 2010, 13:24
I blame them North of the Border who invented it!

i see "ids of March" have become "April Fools", I think that Care in the Community is not working judging by some of the posts on the Forum
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celadon

17th April 2010, 08:09


A turkey was chatting with a bull. 'I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree' sighed the turkey, 'but I haven't got the energy.'

'Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?' replied the bull. It's full of nutrients.'

The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree.

The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch..

Finally after a fourth night, the turkey was proudly perched at the top of the tree.

He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the tree.

Moral of the story:
Bull Shit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there...
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vic gibbons

17th April 2010, 23:49
If it hadn't been for venetian blinds, then it would have been curtains for all of us.
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vic gibbons

18th April 2010, 00:00
If 'All The World Loves A Lover' then why are there so many plain clothed policemen in Hyde Park?
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the joker

18th April 2010, 04:43
Maybe because there are fairies at the bottom of our guardsmen.
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