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Grunger

I hope the 'You're next' didn't lead to any sort of anxiety - I wasn't suggesting you'd be the next target, just that you'd get a post of your own.

I've never been to Gretna, but have never felt I'm missing anything. It has always seemed, sounded, quite a tacky place - I'd love to be wrong! I liked the name of the celebrant you saw ('celebrant' is far better than your cumbersome 'blacksmithess'.).

I am slightly curious about your 'home-made' steak pie. Did you have doubts about its origins, did you think it was a mass-produced offering with ideas above its station?

Malone

Yes, a change of identity is a good idea - perhaps just "M". That will confuse the agents who are on the trail of another one.

They seem to be closing in on you. Sarin, Fife, Scotland and German all featured prominently plus a sinister golf reference in "Albatross".

Thanks for the telepathy in sorting out my wrong entries. I put in "bratwurst" for the German diet, and "Quiche" for Lorraine's partner. They seemed obvious answers and not worth parsing. But you forced me to see further, so many thanks.

malone

I was startled to see "you're next" but soon saw the follow-up which put my mind at rest.

Gretna was tacky in the sense that it was highly commercialised. Numerous gift shops catering for coach-loads of tourists, many of whom strayed into the wedding guests area. The "celebrant (I like that)" spent a lot of time shooing them away, with what looked like a prayer-book rather than a hammer. Nothing seemed to bother the celebrantees.

I feel that "home-made" stuff should be made at home. The pie was an enormous one in a very large rectangular tin, clearly cooked in a commercial oven. It was cut into good-sized portions and contained big chunks of tasty steak. The vegetables were nice too, so I was very pleased. It cost £8 compared with £5 at my local cafe but I was quite happy with that.

jigjag

I liked your post to malone about the Times crossword final. Are you going? I think you have been in the past.

Jigjag

I loved your (erroneous) answers for the Times crossword. What a pity they simply didn't fit with other entries! If you do go back to the Crossword Championship, I hope we'll get a full report. H'mm, maybe two reports would be good - one factual and informative, the other with your slightly more … imaginative musings?

Grunger
Thanks for the Gretna news I think I saw all the gift-shops and tourist-oriented stuff on television once, it made me cringe. I don't know about Gretna itself, but Scotland has lots of celebrants (I've heard them referred to as 'civil celebrants', I don't know if there's an official designation. ) I've seen them at many funerals and weddings over the years.

Thanks too for the pie info. It gave me a lot to think about - the 'home' in 'home-made' really is a tricky point. I suppose the terms 'Not Bought In Steak Pie' or 'Made On The Premises Chicken Pie' don't sound particularly appealing!

malone

Yes I have seen a couple of celebrants at non-religious funerals. They did a good job, though I dont like the word.

I dont know why they did not just say "steak pie". It was clearly made on the premises and you could see what you were getting. I suppose they have to embellish all dishes. I get fed up with "Deep-fried Cod Mediterranean style in crispy beer batter and French Fried Potatoes", when it is simply fish and chips.

I too like Quiche Lorraine, the answer not the flan, and look forward to a report of the crossword final, whether jigjag goes to it or not!

Granger

I think there's a slight air of desperation in some restaurant menus. Are 'triple-fried' chips better than 'hand-cut chips'? Is 'jus' better than 'gravy'? (In my opinion, certainly not.) Some Scottish restaurants seem to be getting carried away with it all. Not only do they say 'beer-battered...', but some of them specify the beer/ale involved. If your menu had said only 'steak pie', I might have wondered if this was really 'bought, in huge trays, from Costco, steak pie.'

Like you, I used to dislike the word 'celebrant', but I told myself that it is perfectly valid - especially when I remind myself of the real origin of 'celebrate', to mark an occasion. This made it easier to accommodate the idea of celebrants at funerals, who weren't there just to make sure we all had a good, old time.

PS The crossword setters are still following me. Today's Times has a cricket-related clue and an '-ess' answer.

Revenge is a dish best served cold. Pretentiousness is a dish best served with quinoa and a raspberry coulis.

Malone

I feel tempted to tell them to fry the chips once, but do it properly. I cant accept an extra charge for doing it more than once.

I liked the clues you mentioned and I see you got one of your dreaded SA clues, though it went well for you.

I am struggling on the Academist one, and the Olympians. Any hints, please?

SW @918
You have reminded me one of my favourite sayings (first heard by me in the Genetics Department at Cambridge in 1972!)

Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.