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Just a quick note, I've a long 'to do' list today. Any tips on decent pantos? I want to buy some tickets today, but choosing is difficult...

Jigjag And The Beanstalk

Grungerella

Tyke Whittington

Ros In Boots …

How do I choose?

I was always a bit too big for my boots (OH NO I'M NOT) ; might be amusing.

Gungerella sounds like an interesting turnaround.

Am about to make the dough for the annual Gingerbread House. At the end I may resemble Gingerella, the before version.

malone

Yes, I am playing Grungerella at the Wigan Pier Playhouse. How did you know? I was trying to keep it quiet. I wear my usual Grunge, and the role as a kitchen drudge certainly suits me. I can get you complementary tickets for tonight if you can make it.

I heard that Jigjag was offered a "straight" role in Puss in Boots after his "straightness" was questioned the other day.

Malone

I was offered the part of the cow in that panto but turned it down, hoping for something better, which did not happen.

My to-do list is rather short. Another trip to M&S to buy jeans, and if there is time, to buy slippers for my brother-in-law. What can go wrong?

I was once asked to make cow and donkey costumes for the Nativity Play at the local primary school. In order to liven things up a bit, I gave the cow an udder with a zip and put in a tin of evap.
The only person I told this too was the boy who had been allocated the job of the cow's back end, who I knew to be one of the naughtier ones.

Rosalind, Jigjag, Grunger

Thanks for the panto contributions. The tin of evaporated milk was an inspired idea, Rosalind!

I'll return in a bit. I need a rest to recover from today's shopping trip - where I came across a tea bag Advent calendar and, even worse, a pork scratchings Advent calendar. Shudder!

Malone Rosalind Grunger

I went again to M & S today to attempt to buy some jeans and to look for slippers for my brother-in-law. After following the advice of Rosalind and Grunger, I knew I was “a 36” and “a regular”. As I was looking at the jeans, I was pleased to hear the familiar voice of Isla Sellitt, “Are you a blue?” she asked.

“Yes, I do support Everton. It’s very exciting at the moment.”

“I didn’t mean football” she said.

“Sorry. Of course, politics. Actually I support Labour”

“No I was asking if you WANT blue” she replied.

“Aren’t all jeans blue?” I asked.

“No, we have them in six colours in many styles. One final question – are you distressed?”

“I certainly am. All this shopping is really getting me down.”

“No, it is the jeans that are distressed, not you, and we don’t sell them anyway.”

I have no idea what she was talking about so I left, without even looking at slippers.

Jigjag,

I hope your blood pressure hasn't been adversely affected by all these stressful shopping jaunts? After your latest trip, no wonder you were distressed. I don't know if M and S stock the torn jeans - deliberately/artfully torn - as this would have no doubt caused you a great deal of consternation. I'm sure M and S would not have appreciated you - or any of us - pointing out that they had a whole display of faulty goods.

Good luck with the slipper hunt... following the panto theme, will we now address you as Cinderella?

Grunger

I was delighted when I saw you were going to be treading the boards at Wigan Pier Playhouse - I felt it was time you were accorded star status, and let's face it, you can't aim any higher than that. I'm glad the drudge role suits you fine. If there are no pie jokes in the script, feel free to chuck in a few ad libs - panto audiences like those ( oh no, they don't... oh yes, they do....)

Loved it. I bet you have a few costume tales to tell, but that's an udder story.