Crossword Help Forum
Forum Rules

DIETING UNDER STRESS.

1. If you eat something and no one sees you then the food has no calories.
2. When you eat with comeone else, the calories do not count if they eat more than you do.
3. If you drink a diet cola with a chocolate bar, the diet cola cancels the calories in the chocolate.
4. Broken biscuits contain no calories - the process of breaking causes calorie leakage.
5. Food used for medicinal purposes never counts; e.g. hot chocolate for relaxation; brandy for fortification; toast and cheesecake as antidpressants.
6. It is recommended that you fatten up everyone around you so that you appear slimmer.
7. Food licked off cutlery or out of a bowl has no calories if you are following a recipe, e.g. butter icing on a cake; the remains of a scone mixture; cream for the top of a trifle.
8. TV and cinema food contain no calories as they are part of the whole entertainment package.
9. Foods of the same colour have the same number of calories, e.g. spinach and mint ice cream; mushrooms and white chocolate; water and a large gin and tonic.
10.Athletes eat huge amounts of pasta before races like the marathon. It's a myth that you have to run 26 miles to work it off. One brisk trot around the settee is quite sufficient to wipe out one bowl of spaghetti. Twice round the living room will use up as much energy that a chocolate bar is required to supplement your sugar level and rebuild your strength.

Good Luck !!

Check out the second verse of http://lyricsplayground.com/alpha/songs/t/thesunhasgothishaton.shtml" target="blank" > this popular song.

Three dogs were sitting in the waiting room at the vet's when they struck up a conversation. The Yellow Lab turned to the Chocolate Lab and said, "So why are you here?"

The Chocolate Lab replied, "I'm a pisser. I piss on everything....the sofa, the curtains, the cat, the kids. But the final straw was last night when I pissed in the middle of my owner's bed."

The Yellow Lab said, "So what is the vet going to do?"

"Gonna cut my nuts off," came the reply from the Chocolate Lab. "They reckon it'll calm me down."

The Yellow Lab then turned to the Black Lab and asked "why are you here?"

The Black Lab said, "I'm a digger. I dig under fences, dig up flowers and trees, I dig just for the hell of it. When I'm inside, I dig up the carpets. But I went over the line last night when I dug a great big hole in my owners' couch."

"So what are they going to do to you?" the Yellow Lab inquired.

"Looks like I'm losing my nuts too," the dejected Black Lab said.

The Black Lab then turned to the Great Dane and asked, "Why are you here?"

"I'm a humper," the Great Dane. "I'll hump anything. I'll hump the cat, a pillow, the table, and fence posts, whatever. I want to hump everything I see.”

Yesterday, my owner had just got out of the shower and was bending down to dry her toes, and I just couldn't help myself. I hopped on her back and started hammering away."

The Black and the Chocolate Labs exchanged a sad glance and said, "So, it's nuts off for you too, huh?"

The Great Dane said, "No, I'm here to get my nails clipped.”

This thread had crept all the way down to page 17, but it's back!
In a menage-a-trois, does the most inhibited person get a bronze medal for coming third?

Thanks Bees - I been away.

Have you ever wondered what happens to old computers that you have sent for recycling? Here's the answer: http://www.nytimes.com/slideshow/2010/08/04/magazine/20100815-dump.html

Traveling down the interstate and needing to use the restroom,
I stopped at a rest area and headed to the restroom.


I was barely sitting down when I heard a voice from the other stall saying:
"Hi, how are you?"

I'm not the type to start a conversation in the restroom and I don't know what got into me,
But I answered, somewhat embarrassed,
"Doin' just fine!"

And the other person says:
"So what are you up to?"

What kind of question is that? At that point, I'm thinking this is too bizarre so I say:
"Uhhh, I'm like you, just traveling!"??

At this point I am just trying to get out as fast as I can when I hear another question.
"Can I come over?"

Ok, this question is just too weird for me but I figured I could just be polite and end the conversation.. I tell them
"No..I'm a little busy right now!!!"


Then I hear the person say nervously...
"Listen, I'll have to call you back. There's an idiot in the other stall who keeps answering all my questions


Cell phones, don't you just love them!

A friend of mine just started his own business, making landmines that look like prayer mats.
It's doing well.






He says Prophets are going through the roof.

So what's the answer to the poser at post 789? Is it the really obvious:

a) there are two counters that have black on one side, so it's a 50/50 chance as to which one you've picked. Therefore black and white are both equally likely to be the hidden colour.

Or is it the slightly less obvious (and probably the one I'd go for):

b) there are three ways you could be looking at a black side - by choosing the double-sided black counter and putting it down either way up, or by picking the black and white counter and placing it black side up. The first two of these will give black as the hidden colour and the third will give white, so black is twice as likely as white to be the hidden colour.

Two to one on that your original choice was a 'double' ie white/white or black/black. ergo two to one that 'down' side is same colour as visible side.

I think you meant to conclude 'Ergo two to one on that hidden side is same colour as visible side.'