Malone, Grunger
I went to the market café on Saturday. I usually have poached egg on toast, but the 5-item breakfast for £2.95 caught my eye.
I ordered 2 sausages, an egg and 2 hash browns. “What would you like for the fifth item?” the waitress asked.
“I think I have ordered 5” but she replied “No, 2 hash browns is one item.”
“In that case, I’ll have a third sausage, please” but she said “Sorry, only 2 sausages are allowed on a 5-item breakfast.”
“I would really like half a grilled tomato, but is it one item or half?”
“Are you trying to be funny?” was the terse reply.
“Actually, I’ll just have what Paul gives me.”
When the breakfast arrived, there were 2 sausages, an egg, 2 hash browns, black pudding, 2 rounds of toast and a cup of tea. I make that 9 items but they insist it is 5. I might try the 10-item breakfast next week.