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You've reminded me, malone. I used to drive a Toyota MR2 - and really enjoyed it. The model was known as an "MR2" in all countries except Francophone ones, where it was just an "MR" for some reason!

Malone

I am getting rather concerned for your welfare. You had to put up with bad language and a possible murder in the Copper Kettle. This follows the incident in the coffee-shop last week where there was a shot.

Please look after yourself as we need your valuable contributions to the Forum.

ChrisE, thanks - I liked the tact involved in not using 'MR2' in France. Your post reminded me of the sweets I used to see in Ikea - they were called Scum or Skum, and sounded disgusting!

Jigjag,

Thanks very much for your care and concern. I feel quite safe when I'm out and about, trusting that my dazzling wit and sparkling repartee will see off any threats.

Malone, Grunger, Tyke

You will be disappointed to hear that I did not get the Bedroom Assistant job. Ida Down of the Glitz Hotel rang with the bad news this morning.

The short-listed applicants had been given a trial, and she gave me the feedback about my interaction with guests.

“You have received compliments from a Scottish woman and a dancer from Lancashire. A foreign gentleman, Signor Howerd from Pompeii hoped that you will “keep it up” as it were” she chuckled.

I don’t know what’s so funny, and despite all the fuss about a male-only short-list, they gave the job to a lady from Doncaster, Sheila Blige. She had glowing references from a cricket-loving Yorkshireman.

I am sure she will make a brilliant Bedroom Assistant but what qualities has she got that I haven’t?

Jigjag

I was actually relieved to hear that you hadn't got the Bedroom Assistant job. I feel there are too many connotations around the terminology - I can imagine a raised eyebrow every time someone says. 'What do I do? Oh, I'm a Bedroom Assistant'. It was good that you received favourable comments, these must be heartening.

I've been thinking of various career options for you, as you seem to be looking for a change. Would you like to be a Prof - Peripatetic Relisher Of Food? This would involve a fair amount of travelling, and a fair amount of food-tasting. These are things you appear to do just now, wandering from market to fast food outlet to little cafes. Application forms will soon be available online, so just let me know if you are interested.

Jigjag

Commiserations on not getting the Bedroom Assistant job. Signor Howerd is obviously impressed with the way you rose to the challenge! Don`t despair, Sheila has experience in many positions where `customer satisfaction` is a priority, and always seems to provide that `little extra` when required.

jigjag

Sorry to hear that, but Malone and Tyke have given you some good advice. I am sure your talents would have been wasted in that role and I hope you will find something soon.

I agree with Malone that something to do with food would be appropriate, possibly as a critic. If you go to the market cafe soon, I would love to hear about it.

Malone
Great idea - I would love to be a Prof. How about Emeritus Professor Inspecting Cafes? Better than peripathetic music teacher that I once was!

Tyke
Thanks for your encouragement. I love those double entendres!

Grunger
Yes, busy day today. I am going to the market soon, and then Everton this evening.

jigjag
Do you support Everton or Man City. I enjoyed the game on TV - City are very good but we (Wigan) beat them a couple of years ago in the Cup. Did you go to the market?

Jigjag

Shame has kept me away from this thread. I didn't know that Everton was an actual place, I've always thought it was just the name of a team. Sorry about this great example of my ignorance in some areas!

Yes, you'd make a great EPIC - and I quite like the acronym being the start of the word 'epicure', something that, surely, could be applied to you? (It's great to know that all your Big Macs and poached eggs on toast haven't gone unnoticed.)