Crossword Help Forum
Forum Rules

Jigjag,

Although I really like 'PIFFLE', the longer name is definitely clumsy, clunky and totally unacceptable. I tut and shake my head when companies, people, charities, whatever, do this in the real world - ie come up with a string of words to fit the neat or amusing acronym. (Yes, I am indeed very harsh at times!)

You're correct to say that 'Dear Malone' would be a suitable salutation from JRM. 'Dear Mary Malone' would be acceptable too. After a suitable period, perhaps three months, I would advise JRM that 'Dear Mary' would be permissible. I liked your 'Mistress Grunger', wonderfully archaic.


Grunger
Lack of space means I'll reply to you separately.

Grunger
Glad you liked IMPS.

I've received a few business-type letters that begin 'Dear Mary Malone'. I thought that looked rather odd the first time, but I've got used to it - and definitely prefer it to 'Dear Mrs...', or 'Dear Miss...'. I use neither title in real life, so don't need or want them in correspondence. 'Dear Ms..' is tolerable, but only just. I think what we need is a brand new word for addressing people in correspondence. I've had a few ideas...

Pus Grunger - Person of Unstated Sex. This was discarded for several reasons. The first is that it sounds singularly off-putting, the second is that it would re-ignite the 'sex' v 'gender' debate.

Pug Grunger - Person of Unstated Gender. This too sounds rather off-putting, reminding me of those unattractive little dogs.


Pusogaums Grunger - Person of Unstated Sex Or Gender And Unstated
Marital Status. Yes, it's rather clunky, isn't it?

Per Grunger - Per(son) Grunger. I think this'll do perfectly, it's suitably respectful and shouldn't offend anyone. I wonder who I can get to spearhead a campaign to effect the change?

Malone

I am glad you like Mistress X, which I though I would resurrect. I have only heard it used twice. Dr Cameron (in Dr Finlay's casebook) used it, and I remember Mistress Quickly when we did Henry IV, Part I at school.

I am pleased that it would take you at least 3 months to allow JRM to become personal with you.

I love all the stuff you wrote to Grunger. Quite brilliant and had me in stitches. I am sure she will love it too, even though she is very much a Miss/Mrs person.

Per Jigjag,

I thought I should start using the new term immediately, so that we get to accept it as the norm. I hope you're remembering that any personal relationship with JRM applies only to designations.


I'm glad you enjoyed the Pug/Pus/Per stuff. I hope Mrs or Miss Grunger does too.


I have fond memories of Dr Finlay, but I don't remember any mistresses. Sorry, I felt a little double entendre wouldn't go amiss (and I can bung in a pun now too. My cup runneth over).

Re: Mr, Mrs ... Having first initial S, at times Mr. S Xxxx has become Mrs. Xxxx.

More importantly, my Ikea breakfast this week was ruined by the sign staring me in the face while I was eating: "This coffee machine is going through it's cleaning cycle." Grrr.

Steve, the wandering apostrophe strikes again - I'm not surprised you had a 'Grrr' moment.

Earlier tonight I watched the BBC programme about the first year in various animals' lives. At one point the voiceover said, 'At around eight months of age, [gorilla] mothers become less protective...' The mothers weren't eight months old, the babies were.

Thanks Malone

I have been away for a couple of days. I love all that stuff. I am glad you did not use Person of Indeterminate Gender, or even worse, Person of Indeterminate Sex. I don't know the difference between Gender and Sex anyway.

I like "Per Grunger". But you say it stands for Per(son). I suppose it is Per(daughter) in our case.

Loves Malone and Grunger,

I have been interested in your attempts to find a respectful way of addressing people. I have come up with the above, which only works for addressing 2 or more women.

I leave it for you to solve. I think the last letter has 2 possibilities.

Grunger

Glad you didn't mind my flight of fancy with the names, terminology. Even though the 'son' in 'person' isn't based on familial structures, your post made me have a re-think. Perhaps I/we should switch to Hum - as in Human? I feel 'Per' has a slightly better tone to it, but I certainly wouldn't want to upset or offend anyone. I'll give it some more thought.

Jigjag

I've been considering your new form of address. I have a dreadful feeling that the first letter might stand for 'ladies' - another of my pet hates! Still...
Ladies Of Very Elegant Sensibilities

Ladies Of Very Extreme Sensitivities

jigjag

I love loves, but not luvvies. I am sure Malone is right about ladies. I dont mind it, depending on context, as I play ladies sports.

"of" and "very" must be right. Malone's solutions describe us perfectly, but perhaps you meant

Ladies Of Very Evident Silliness (which we have admitted to in some of our spoof stories), or

Ladies Of Very Exotic/Erotic ............... (cannot think of a suitable word)

Malone
I like the "hum" but it does not pass the sniff test. Per(haps) Per is better