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I actually watched it, jigjag! I agree the jokes were feeble, especially the hundreds and thousands of accidents, and lettuce let-down ones. I was expecting "sales of lettuce will rocket" but we got nothing like that.

The part of the programme I like best is when groaning Gregg tastes the food. When he was given oven-cooked risotto, a 10-minute ready-meal, he grunted, "That is not restaurant quality, but it is a decent risotto". Fair comment, I thought

Jigjag, I'm glad I let the 'Supermarket Secrets' remain a mystery!

Thanks for the Sainsburys update too. I won't bother myself with the correct pronunciation of 'quinoa', as that is old hat now (and it tastes like one!). I, and many others, have moved on to freekeh, a much more exciting grain.

malone

I am afraid the fast-moving world of plant growth is too much for me. I will eat my hat (or yours as it tastes like quinoa) if I ever try this freaky stuff.

I sent an e-mail to Sainsbury's, saying that as they have a "Head of Future Brands", why don't they do something for people like me who yearn for the food of yesteryear.

I received a reply from the "Head of Retro Foods", Luke King-Back. "You will be pleased to hear that our new range of Retro Foods includes Bread and Dripping, Jam Butties, and Tripe and Onions. The last dish was suggested by a well-known gurning greengrocer."

Now there's a man who knows his onions.

Jigjags, I do like your little scenarios - interesting, informative … and really fun to read. Thanks.

I'm less enthusiastic about some (all) of your dishes as I wouldn't be able to stomach (literally) any of those. Still, Luke might come up with other, more appetising offerings.

When I was a wee lad I remember being round a friend's house for tea. His dad had a stomach ulcer (or something like that) and tripe was one of the few things he could eat - I have to say, (Luke King Back) it looked absolutely disgusting!

Brendan . . it is revolting

As a child I was forced to eat tripe several times a week

Consequently, I have never had a stomach ulcer

My grandchildren have never seen tripe . . perhaps it should be recommended fare, lest a generation of ulcer sufferers be thrust upon our already overburdened health system


Jigjag, I have just found your query regarding our Target retail stores

I do not shop there, and pronounce the name "Tar-gut"

Regular patrons prefer the faux-French "Tar-dzay"

Hannah, if it tastes anything like it looks, you have my heartfelt sympathies. Mind you, I think it's used in Haggis which, I'm told, is quite savoury, so there may be times when it's not too bad. My friend's dad however, had it boiled, which made it turn the most anaemic grey colour (or perhaps it always is!).

Hannah, Brendan, I couldn't eat tripe if you paid me - even the look of it is enough to put me off.

Brendan, I couldn't eat haggis either - but I'm almost certain it doesn't include tripe. I think the main ingredients are heart, liver and lungs - that's gruesome enough (for me) without adding tripe!

Jigjag, in case you're looking in … today's Malone Times (Mon 1) clue was partly inspired by you.

Malone, Brendan and Hannah.

Thanks for your postings which were interesting and fun to read. I mentioned (or rather Luke did) the 3 "meals" as my father grew up on that stuff. Even when he became quite affluent, he loved eating bread and dripping with champagne. It looked disgusting and I never tried it.

malone - thanks, I will check your thread - I feel honoured