Malone, Grunger
You made the right decision in not watching “Supermarket Secrets” last night. Grinning, gurning Gregg was unbearable. The Ocado warehouse contains 500 robots, looking more like washing-machines than Daleks, and when his jokes fell flat, I expected “Exterminate”, but sadly not.
It is hard to get enthusiastic about lettuce, but grimacing, gregarious Gregg managed it. On a farm with an annual production of 300 million lettuce, individually supervised by an aeroplane, he volunteered to help harvest the crop. “I know what I am doing. I was a greengrocer for 20 years.”
We met Sainsbury’s “Head of Future Brands” (yes, really), and learned that “Quinoa” is pronounced “qui noir”, as in French, not “Quin-oh-a”. Nobody in this country had heard of this mysterious substance until the England cricket team’s diet sheets were leaked. It is pronounced “Queen-oo-err” here. It is going to replace rice apparently. Well the French can keep it, and it wont be in my Chicken Madras.