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coline

28th September 2010, 20:32
Subject: The Pastor's Ass

There was once a Pastor who owned a donkey which he trained like a greyhound.

One day,the Pastor entered his donkey in a race and it won.

The Pastor was so pleased with the donkey that he entered it again the following week and it won again.

The local paper read:

PASTOR'S ASS OUT FRONT.

The Bishop was so upset with this kind of publicity that he ordered
the Pastor not to enter the donkey in another race.

The next day the local paper headline read:
BISHOP SCRATCHES PASTOR'S ASS.

This was too much for the Bishop so he ordered the Pastor to get rid of the donkey.

The Pastor decided to give it to a Nun in a nearby convent.

The local paper, hearing of the news, posted the following headline:

NOW NUN HAS BEST ASS IN TOWN.

The Bishop fainted.

He informed the Nun that she would have to get rid of the donkey so she sold it to a farmer for $10.

The next day the paper read:

NUN SELLS ASS FOR $10...

This was too much for the Bishop so he ordered the Nun to buy back the donkey and lead it to the plains where it could run wild.

This the Nun duly did and next day the headlines read:

NUN ANNOUNCES HER ASS IS NOW WILD AND FREE.

The Bishop was buried the next day!

The moral of the story is . . . being concerned about public opinion
can bring you much grief and misery . . even shorten your life.

So be yourself and enjoy life.

Stop worrying about everyone else's ass and you'll be a lot happier and live longer!

897 of 1953  -   Report This Post

bees

29th September 2010, 19:55
terry, I'm being thick, I don't understand 894.
Also, I can't take the Miliband of Brothers seriously; do they remind anyone else of Mike and Bernie Winters?
898 of 1953  -   Report This Post

terry

29th September 2010, 20:03
Sorry Bees.
I know it's not a very good joke but I didn't think it was that bad. Inland/seaside. seaside not inland.so why should I pay inland tax if I don't live inland.
899 of 1953  -   Report This Post

trevor

29th September 2010, 20:12
... and Harriet Harman looks a bit like Schnorbitz,or a dog at least.
ouch,meow, i really shoudn't post this rubbish,but not many people view these large threads do they?
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bees

29th September 2010, 20:30
Sorry Terry, I really was being thick, wasn't I?
It's a good gag; I wish I'd thought of it. But it obviously would have taxed my brain too much.
901 of 1953  -   Report This Post

sallyw

30th September 2010, 12:55
Getting towards 1000 posts. Here's one more.
902 of 1953  -   Report This Post

bees

30th September 2010, 20:55
I've been banned from my local Polish Shop. They got sick of me going in and asking for Brasso.
903 of 1953  -   Report This Post

coline

30th September 2010, 22:06
I expect they got brassed off.
904 of 1953  -   Report This Post

celadon

1st October 2010, 09:39
I've heard that Apple have scrapped their plans for the new children's ipod after realising that iTouch Kids is not a good product name.
905 of 1953  -   Report This Post

celadon

2nd October 2010, 12:18
=: The Family Tree of Vincent Van Gogh :=

His dizzy aunt -------------------- Verti Gogh
The brother who ate --------------- Gotta Gogh
The brother who worked at a convenience store -- Stop N Gogh
The grandfather from Yugoslavia --- U Gogh
His magician uncle ------------- Where-diddy Gogh
His Mexican cousin ------------- A Mee Gogh
The Mexican cousin's American half-brother --- Gring Gogh
The nephew who drove a stage coach - Wells-far Gogh
The constipated uncle ------------ Can't Gogh
The ballroom dancing aunt -------- Tang Gogh
The bird lover uncle ------------ Flamin Gogh
The fruit-loving cousin --------- Man Gogh
An aunt who taught positive thinking - Way-to-Gogh
The little bouncy nephew ----------- Poe Gogh
A sister who loved disco ----------- Go Gogh
And his niece who travels the country in an RV ---- Winnie Bay Gogh

I saw you smiling as you were reading... there ya Gogh!
906 of 1953  -   Report This Post