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elle

28th August 2014, 09:50
Celadon and Syzygy: that particular excerpt or similar versions may only be satires aimed at dense/ insensitive/ deaf to what you are telling them/ authorities, but this kind of situation DOES happen, as it really DID happen to me.
After my father died, I contacted British Gas to close down his account, disconnect the gas, etc, and was told by the insensitive idiot on the phone that he couldn't authorise this without talking to my father..... I explained yet again that sadly my father had just died ( I was nearly in tears at this point) but the BG member of staff said then that he would need a forwarding address for my dad to get the authorisation........
My anger saw me through the ordeal, but it was very stressful at the time.
1579 of 1953  -   Report This Post

ginge

28th August 2014, 10:05
Hi Elle et al, while I am neither accepting or denying the veracity of this particular instance (like all good myths and legends it probably has grown horns and legs but based on actual iinstances) my dealings with Scottish Power show that staff rely on "prepared" scripts and answers which are supposed to cover all events and when you finally drive home the point (not easy) that you would like them to actually listen to your particular problem/complaint inevitably (like "Little Britain") it is the fault of the computer. No wonder, here in Britain at least, energy companies are consistently criticised for having the worst level of " Customer Service " in any consumer sector.
1580 of 1953  -   Report This Post

celadon

30th August 2014, 11:22
Just back from an investigative trip to Stonehenge, and having read what elle and ginge wrote thank you both for that input. Belated condolences elle.
1581 of 1953  -   Report This Post

celadon

30th August 2014, 11:24
(Not my daughter).

My five-year-old daughter was at her first wedding and gaped at the entire ceremony.

When it was over, she asked me, "Why did the lady change her mind?"

I replied, "What do you mean?"

"Well, she went down the aisle with one man, and came back with another one."
1582 of 1953  -   Report This Post

syzygy

30th August 2014, 23:09
Defendant: I did it because I was as drunk as a judge.

Judge: I think you mean "As drunk as a lord," my good man.

Defendant: Yes, my Lord.
1583 of 1953  -   Report This Post

celadon

1st September 2014, 14:48
TO WHOM DOES THE LAND OF ISRAEL BELONG?

An Israeli with a sense of humour at the United Nations set the record straight.

An ingenious example of speech and politics occurred recently in the United Nations Assembly and made the world community smile.

A representative from Israel began: 'Before beginning my talk I want to tell you something about Moses: When he struck the rock and it brought forth water, he thought, "What a good opportunity to have a bath!"

Moses removed his clothes, put them aside on the rock and entered the water. When he got out and wanted to dress, his clothes had vanished. A Palestinian had stolen them!

The Palestinian representative at the UN jumped up furiously and shouted, "What are you talking about? The Palestinians weren't there then."

The Israeli representative smiled and said, "And now that we have made that clear, I shall begin my speech.
1584 of 1953  -   Report This Post

bernie

1st September 2014, 14:59
Very deep!
1585 of 1953  -   Report This Post

celadon

3rd September 2014, 07:10
Tech Support: 'I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop'.
Customer: 'OK'.
Tech Support: 'Did you get a pop-up menu?'.
Customer: 'No'.
Tech Support: 'OK. Right-Click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?'
Customer: 'No'.
Tech Support: 'OK, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this point?'.
Customer: 'Sure. You told me to write 'click' and I wrote 'click''.
1586 of 1953  -   Report This Post

celadon

4th September 2014, 08:28
Six retired Irishmen were playing poker in O'Leary's apartment when Paddy Murphy loses £500 on a single hand, clutches his chest, and drops dead at the table. Showing respect for their fallen brother, the other five continue playing standing up.

Michael O'Connor looks around and asks, 'Oh, me boys, someone got's to tell Paddy's wife. Who will it be?'

They draw straws. Paul Gallagher picks the short one. They tell him to be discreet, be gentle, don't make a bad situation any worse.

'Discreet? I'm the most discreet Irishmen you'll ever meet. Discretion is me middle name. Leave it to me.'

Gallagher goes over to Murphy's house and knocks on the door. Mrs. Murphy answers, and asks what he wants.

Gallagher declares, 'Your husband just lost £500, and is afraid to come home.'

'Tell him to drop dead!', says Murphy's wife..

'I'll go tell him.' says Gallagher.
1587 of 1953  -   Report This Post

syzygy

4th September 2014, 09:13
Now that is a brilliant joke !

I almost hurt myself.
1588 of 1953  -   Report This Post