I tend to have a bit of a nosey when one of my Geniuses comes out - it's a chance for me to see what 'real people' think of my puzzles. I generally set only for custom puzzles which are one-offs for people's birthdays, and they're usually chuffed to bits to find their name as the solution to 1 across, or something like that; the other setting I do is for the magazine I run, 1 Across (www.1across.co.uk) and I get a few bits of feedback there, but I'm the editor and people tend to be nice to me :-)
Glad you and others like what I do, anyway. That's the point! I really don't mind what spoilers get shared; it's up to individuals (or sites) to define the rules. (Our rules on the 1 Across blog are 'be nice' and 'don't post solutions', with a third rule of 'be nice' in case the first one got forgotten.) I have to admit I get somewhat tired of bickering on various sites about 'is x allowed'; it's only a crossword; nobody is going to die if an answer is slightly wrong or a clue doesn't work for you.
The loneliness isn't that bad - it's just sometimes I come up with a great clue and want to tell someone about it but can't because then it'll spoil the puzzle. Part of the enjoyment I get from solving is doing it with a friend or two and having it as a collaborative thing; with a puzzle I've set I just have to sit there while they muse over what I could mean. (Mental commentary: 'ffs come on it's easy I mean it's just a word for fish with no head and then you put some herbs in the middle and the whole thing is a synonym for television I mean come on it's OBVIOUS'.)
Jack, by the way - thanks for the kind words about the grid; I have to admit that I used a computer to help me. I wrote a program to identify potential words and splits involved, then translated each of the white squares into a different single character (using four alphabets!), did the grid fill, then translated it back to use what's in the final puzzle. I tend to use computer programs to help me construct my Genius puzzles as I want the conceit to be all-pervading, not just half the answers. Sometimes it's possible to do them by hand (the homophones one and the substitution one from December last year) but some would just take too long. I'm in the middle of another at the moment which needed a computer simply because of the amount I'd have to hold in my head at once. I hope that doesn't make me any less of a setter :-)