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Oh clever Trevor! Thanx - that made much more sense that the sequence of explanations I eventually found while waiting for enlightenment.

Noteworthy that some people take time off from crosswording to excercise other barts of the prain - in stits and farts

Just tested Trevor's rat-run and it works. I'll now have to find something else to do with my scrolling finger to keep it excercised...

ha-ha - are you being serious?
I'm sure someone can explain it in a better way than I did, trouble is if you don't know how to get here reasonably quickly you probably won't bother.
It will end up being stagnant.

With the sudden rush of "Bad Boys" and Daily Record threads, This one got relegated to page four. Sorry, but we can't have that.

The best thing before 'sliced bread' was fresh backed 'crusty bread'!!!!!!!!

AN EXPLANATION

A wife came home early and found her husband in their bedroom making love to a very attractive young woman.

As she was somewhat upset. 'You are a disrespectful pig!' she cried. 'How dare you do this to me -- a faithful wife, the mother of your children! I'm leaving you. I want a divorce right
away!'

The husband replied, 'Hang on just a minute so at least I can tell you what happened.' 'Fine, go ahead,' she sobbed, 'but they'll be the last words you'll say to me!'

So the husband began -- 'Well, I was getting into the car to drive home, and this young lady here asked me for a lift. She looked so down and out
and defenseless that I took pity on her and let her into the car..

I noticed that she was very thin, not well dressed and very dirty. She told me that she hadn't eaten for three days.

So, in my compassion, I brought her home and warmed up the enchiladas I made for you last night, the ones you wouldn't eat because you're afraid you'll put on weight. The poor thing devoured them in moments.

Since she needed a good clean-up, I suggested a shower, and while she was doing that, I noticed her clothes were dirty and full of holes, so I
threw them away.

Then, as she needed clothes, I gave her the designer jeans that you have had for a few years, but don't wear because you say they are too tight.

I also gave her the underwear that was your anniversary present, which you don't wear because I don't have good taste.

I found the sexy blouse my sister gave you for Christmas that you don't wear just to annoy her, and I also donated those boots you bought at the expensive boutique and don't wear because someone at work has a pair the same.'

The husband took a quick breath and continued - 'She was so grateful for my understanding and help that as I walked her to the door, she turned to me with tears in her eyes and said.......




"Please ... Do you have anything else that your wife doesn't use?"'

Nice one, John. How about this:-

The Australian Poetry Competition held in the Sydney Opera House had come down to two Finalists;

A) The university graduate.

B) An old aboriginal.

They were given a word, and then allowed two minutes to study the word and come up with a Short four line poem that contained the word.

The word they were given was ' TIMBUKTU '.

First to recite his poem was the university graduate.
He stepped to the microphone and said:


Slowly across the desert sand,
Trekked a lonely caravan
Men on camels two by two
Destination - Timbuktu .


The crowd went crazy! No way could the old aboriginal top that, they thought. The old aboriginal calmly made his way to the microphone and recited;

Me and Tim a huntin' went
Met three whores in a pop up tent
They were three, and we was two
So I bucked one, and Timbuktu .


The aboriginal won.

Good grief, are you lot still here? Surely you must have something better to do! That stuff about ducks not echoing is entirely fallacious (or is that something rude?). The theory isn't all it's quacked up to be. It must be getting near Halloween, judging by the all the old jokes that you are bringing back from the dead. You wouldn't catch me doing things like that

Hi Bees !

I think that you're right about old jokes etc...

... but, on further thought, I think that you're really also just another of the funny Bs that post here.

JimC

Did somebody say something about ducks.