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Damn! I only looked away for a couple of days and missed the 1000! Nice one (or nice many) Celadon.

First of all, congratulations to Celadon on reaching the magic kilomessage.

How about one of:

A perplexion of posers.

A Pharisee of posers.

A mystery of posers.

Or, for those of an artistic bent:

A brush of posers.

THE POSTMAN

On Monday morning the Postman is walking through the neighbourhood on his usual route, delivering the mail. As he approaches one of the homes he noticed that both cars were still in the driveway. His wonder was cut short by Derek, the homeowner, coming out with a load of empty beer and liquor bottles for the recycling bin.

'Wow Derek, looks like you guys had one hell of a party last night,' the Postman comments.

Derek, in obvious pain, replies 'Actually we had it Saturday night. This is the first I have felt like moving since 4:00 am Sunday morning. We had about fifteen couples from around the neighbourhood over for some weekend fun and It got a bit wild. We all got so drunk around midnight that we started playing WHO AM I.'

The Postman thinks a moment and says, 'How do you play WHO AM I?'

'Well, all the guys go in the bedroom and we come out one at a time with a sheet covering us, with only our 'family jewels' showing through a hole in the sheet.. Then the women try to guess who it is.'

The Postman laughs and says, 'Sounds like fun. I'm sorry I missed that.'

'Probably a good thing you did,' Derek responded. 'Your name came up seven times...

Police cordoned off Liverpool City Centre this morning when a suspicious object was discovered in a car.
It later turned out to be a tax disc.

I went to the doctors the other day and found out my new GP is a young female, drop-dead gorgeous!
I was embarrassed but she said, "Don't worry, I'm a professional - I've seen it all before.
Just tell me what's wrong and I'll check it out ."




I said, "I think my penis tastes funny..."

On a beautiful summer's day, two English tourists were driving through Wales .

At the town of, Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwyllllantysiliogogoch they stopped for lunch, and one of the tourists asked the very blonde waitress, “Before we order, I wonder if you could settle an argument for us… Can you pronounce where we are, very, very, very slowly?”

The girl leaned over and said, “Burrr.... Gurrr.... King.”

A group of poseurs?? They call themselves MP's don't they?
PSSSST.... Have you heard the one about....Well, Wikileaks has!!
Publish and be damned Sir!

A Real Man


A real man is a woman's best friend. He will
never stand her up and never let her down.
He will reassure her when she feels insecure
and comfort her after a bad day.


He will inspire her to do things she never
thought she could do; to live without fear
and forget regret. He will enable her to
express her deepest emotions and give in to
her most intimate desires. He will make sure
she always feels as though she's the most
beautiful woman in the room and will enable
her to be the most confident, sexy,
seductive, and invincible.



No wait... sorry... I'm thinking of wine. Its wine that does all that.......
Never mind.

Does anybody remember "Blake's Seven". The hero was a man who agitated against a tyrannical state. He was jailed on trumped-up sex charges. Pure science-fiction, of course!

The fertility doctor said we can't have children because a chemical reaction causes my sperm to heat up to such a degree it's as if they 'boil in the bag'

But I don't know if he means my testicles or the wife?