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You're right about the entry for the 2nd clue, alwayspuzzled - two thematic words go under the grid (not a phrase).

Thank you drxx and Malone. I now have a full grid with the 11 letters highlighted. I will read through all the helpful hints above about the two words (synonyms for the key words?)

4d Exclusive Republican's dusty upper room (6) SOL?R?
solar or soler is an upper room but i'm no wiser.

2d Note mostly generous old-fashioned woman (4) LAI?
la is the note... but the rest?

I have the 10, 8 to go under the grid but can't see the 11 letters to highlight?

How do I know what letter to use for the 1st letters of these clues....?
girl often altering clothes ...ENA
winning score in dojo comp champ finally resolved ...IPPON

Kirky, you need to fill in those blanks, first letters, to get the highlighting. Use the unabbreviated version of the title …

I've got Sole, exclusive, and R, Republican for 4 D. (The highlighting helps there too).

LONE+R
The (k) of (k)INd 'mostly...' is extra

Look along most of a main diagonal for the phrase (making sure you've got the right ending for 3dn).

The identical anagrams from the 2 groups of non-starred clues determine letters added for entries.

sorry, I automatically went for a synonym of the synonym! SOLE+R is right, of course.

Thanks, drxx, you had me worried for a minute!

sorry, malone - force of habit - 'what's another word for...'? Even when the answer's been given!

Thank you both ....but
"Look along most of a main diagonal for the phrase (making sure you've got the right ending for 3dn)."

??
ending of 3d isn't in a main diagonal ( i have an E by the way??)

It was 4 Down, maybe just a typo!