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Plant's home in one of the Orkneys. (7).

Ho(nest)y.

A woman was at her hairdresser's getting her
hair styled for a trip to Rome with her husband..
She mentioned the trip to the hairdresser, who responded:

" Rome ? Why would anyone want to go there?
It's crowded and dirty.. You're crazy to go to Rome .. So, how are you getting there?"

"We're taking Continental," was the reply. "We got a great rate!"

"Continental?" exclaimed the hairdresser..
" That's a terrible airline. Their planes are old,their flight attendants are ugly, and they're always late. So, where are you staying in Rome ?"

"We'll be at this exclusive little place over on Rome's Tiber River called Teste."

"Don't go any further... I know that place.
Everybody thinks its gonna be something special and exclusive, but it's really a dump."

"We're going to go to see the Vatican and maybe get to see the Pope."

"That's rich," laughed the hairdresser. You and a million other people trying to see him. He'll look the size of an ant.

Boy, good luck on this lousy trip of yours. You're going to need it."

A month later, the woman again came in for a
hairdo. The hairdresser asked her about her trip to Rome .

"It was wonderful," explained the woman, "not
only were we on time in one of Continental's brand new planes, but it was overbooked, and they bumped us up to first class.. The food and wine were wonderful, and I had a handsome 28-year-old steward who waited on me hand and foot.

And the hotel was great! They'd just finished a £5 million remodeling job, and now it's a jewel, the finest hotel in the city. They, too, were overbooked, so they apologized and gave us their owner's suite at no extra charge!"

"Well," muttered the hairdresser, "that's all well and good, but I know you didn't get to see the
Pope."

"Actually, we were quite lucky, because as we
toured the Vatican , a Swiss Guard tapped me on the shoulder, and explained that the Pope likes to meet some of the visitors, and if I'd be so kind as to step into his private room and wait, the Pope would personally greet me.

Sure enough, five minutes later, the Pope walked through the door and shook my hand! I knelt down and he spoke a few words to me."

"Oh, really! What'd he say ?"


He said: "Who the Fuck did your hair?"

Two birds were sitting on a perch. One said "Can you smell fish?"

Manolete,from 'the high chaparral' has died?
my thoughts are with poor Miss Victoria who loved him all along really.

Spare a thought too for Richard Burton whos missus just bought the farm.

Manolete,from 'the high chaparral' has died?
my thoughts are with poor Miss Victoria who loved him all along really.

Spare a thought too for Richard Burton whos missus just bought the farm.

Hi Trevor You seem to have caught The Jokers infection -- Duplicaitus ( Repitenza)

not true.

balls,

my last post "not true" was supposed to be post twice.

i can't even replicate my mistakes - is that good or bad?

From the DM.

MILLIONS of Britons are descended from the bastard offspring of aristocrat-defiled domestic drudges, it was claimed yesterday.
According to new research, your potato scrubbing female ancestors were dishonoured by the dashing but amoral sons of the gentry who had nothing better to do at the time.

Professor Henry Brubaker, of the Institute for Studies, said: "Basically your great-great-great nan was dragged into a stable and ravished, or traded her virtue for a boiled sweet.

"Or, being a bit simple, she was beguiled by promises she would become the 14th Lady Spatchcock despite being illiterate, slightly bow-legged and down to her last four teeth.

"After getting up the spout she would have been cast out of her job and her broom cupboard before giving birth in a hedgerow and throwing herself down a well."

He added: "Either way, you can be proud of your authentically blue-blooded ancestry, which will impress Americans, especially if you leave out the bit about the boiled sweet."

A spokesman for the National Trust said: "We hope this news will encourage people to visit Britain's stately homes, where your great-great-great grandmother could have lived in splendour if your great-great-great grandfather hadn't been a grade A piece of shit.

"And you can also have a nice cream tea and buy a book you didn't really want."