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The trouble with you lot is that I honestly have no idea whether you're pulling each other's leg or whether indeed you are truly angry with each other!

I sincerely hope it's the former.

Would some kind person enlighten me please?

Dear Ladies and Gentlemen

Please may Pipesmoker be excused from the RT Geeks and Freaks class? He really does not have the brain to qualify for either category. He can fill in the answers, but when it comes to dissecting and analysing clues, he just stands open mouthed and stares into the middle distance.

You could almost be sorry for him, if he was not so dislikeable. Recently, when the cat sank her claws into his leg, he blew through his pipe when he should have sucked. We all found this hilarious, but he just sat there, blood running down his leg, embers of hot tobacco burning there way into his scalp and making a strange yowling noise. He just could not see the funny side at all. Miserable sod. And he gave the poor wee cat an awful fright.

On the rare occasions when we feel like being civil to Pipesmoker, we call him BOG. That is short for Baldy Old Git.

Thank you for reading my letter.

Mrs Pipesmoker.

Just found this site and would like to say thanks to all those who help people like me who struggle alone to solve the crosswords. Used to discuss these with my husband when he was alive. Greatly miss the help of others.

Not all of us are able to finish in ten seconds flat!

turast,
I'll say one thing for you,turast, you have a remarkable ability to see things that are not there. Maybe that's because you are not all there.
Have a nice day.

Wrinkley,

It's not really "my place" to welcome you to this Forum as I only discovered it last week too.

But to heck with etiquette - may I extend a very warm welcome to you and hope we can all help each other to solve many clues together.

WENDY
It's the former. You've got to admit the reactions are very funny. Sorry, guys, you are too easy.

Not to worry, Wrinkley. There're always people here to offer lots of help and I too welcome you!

Wendy- my reactions are very tongue in cheek(i like the RT threads and most of it's users).Turasts posts are far too inconsequential to take seriously.He has responded to himself twice already(both times rudely and that's just on this thread)pity the fool.
desperate attention seeker.

TREVOR AND TURAST,

Well I'm pleased it's just your somewhat daft sense of humour!

and now to
MRS. PIPESMOKER

It's obvious from your post that you love MR. PIPESMOKER desperately. To prove this, I suggest you get him to dress in his best pair of shorts and stand at the kitchen sink washing up and then peeling all the veg for the soup. That should take him a while. There's nothing a young cat likes better than to literally climb up a person's legs, using its claws, of course. Copious amounts of kitchen roll should be handy to mop up the blood but I promise you, your cat will have great fun!

Enjoyed Mrs Pipesmoker and welcome to Wrinkley.
i see that Turast has generated an innundation of zero replies pertaining to his opening topic for this thread.
might be because he 'forgot' to post a link.
http://www.guardian.co.uk/crosswords/prize/25226