All right, here are your results. Touches I liked were Chris's opening salvo double def. using the no free lunch cliche; buddy's and whetstone's launch - a, even despite buddy's vivid imagery; paul's UN peacekeepers; mattrom's Lurch; bacchanal's acrostic, geeker's Lydia Lunch reference; paulh's exchange; and jimmy's and bacchanal's taking on the chunnel challenge. As for buddy's "shameless pandering," I always love to be pandered too, but I was looking for Lucas numbers this time.
I had an early favorite though, and while some nice clues came along, nobody could dislodge it. For simple elegance, and such a smooth surface, our winner is whetstone with:
Set off without a meal (5)
Congratulations on your maiden victory, whetstone. Here are your prizes:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pD9mk0Y_pyo
and inspired by geeker (warning - language):
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UqEIDTR7RtU
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UqEIDTR7RtU