What a wonderfully puzzling puzzle. Thanks so much to the setter!
It took me working on it every day until midnight last night to finish it.
I'm still not sure if some things are correct, but I've submitted it anyway.
I was so pleased each time I managed to figure out any clue that I thought i'd never forget how I did it, so I didn't bother to write down what I thought the clues were. By the time I went to submit, I realised I couldn't remember how I'd arrived at some of the solutions--so I spent some time trying to re-solve--not entirely successfully.
Now I've read through the forum to see if anything I did resembles anything anyone else did...
The last two I just couldn't get were 2 and 3 down. On 2, I was stuck on looking for either an opera or a fruit which had something to do with lingerée.
On 3, my final fill, I couldn't figure out what the defining first word was--which is ironic!
The first two I filled were the charming meta-clues at 14 and 28 across, which inspired me to keep plugging away at it.
It took ages to realise the second word of 15D wasn't "said".
10A and 23D are two of the ones I'm not sure about.
Cryptic solving always requires some degree of struggling with one's presumptions and fixations, but I've never encountered this bonkers amount of it before--and I ain't young. It felt like a treatment designed to try to cure OCD!
Such fun!