Following the excellent reaction here to my last literary attempt, I thought I'd offer a sneak preview of my latest opus:
He watched her slender fingers as she deftly slipped the thin membrane over the hard, ridged surface of what she coyly referred to as his ‘French stick’, but he couldn’t prevent his eyes returning to her buns, so pertly proud and rounded, begging to be gently separated, spread wide and filled with his meat. ‘Are you interested in a tart?’ she asked breathily, a flush dancing enticingly across her cheekbones, ‘Something fruity, perhaps, with a coating of whipped cream…or would you a prefer a little brown sugar?’ It was all too much; he pushed some money into her hand and stumbled away cursing himself for a fool. These exotic tastes weren’t for him and he knew it – he was strictly a white bread man with an occasional desire for sub rolls. He heard her call after him, forlornly, ‘But what about your muffin?’
An excerpt from this autumn's sure-to-be best-seller, ’Fifty Shades Of Greggs’