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From the DM.

A SELFIE stick emblazoned with the Coke logo more or less sums up where we are as a society, it has been confirmed.

Experts agree that a branded plastic rod that assists the narcissism of cretins is the perfect symbol for humanity in 2015.

Professor Henry Brubaker, of the Institute for Studies, said: “Civilizations of the past left their mark on the world by building great cities, or awe-inspiring monuments, or taming their natural environment.”

“We, by contrast, think the height of cultural achievement is to take pictures of our idiot faces while simultaneously advertising a corporate behemoth that hawks brown sugary piss.

“It’s not exactly the Colossus of Rhodes, is it?”

27-year old Tom Booker from Bedford said: “I used to worry that I would never be able to express who I was to future generations. But thanks to my Coca-Cola selfie stick, posterity will understand that I am a preening simpleton in hock to consumerism and vanity.”

From the Rhodes Herald, 280BC
“A great big self-glorifying statue made from treasure left behind by somebody else more or less sums up where we are in our so called “modern” society.
We’ve wasted twelve years of money and effort that could have gone to building a decent harbour on a vanity project, a great lump of bronze and rock telling the world how great we are because we beat the Macedonians. As if that wasn’t bad enough it’s a statue of our “current fave” Helios. Can’t see him being around for long.
How vain are we in this modern era that all we can do is pat ourselves on the back with a giant work of what passes for modern “art”. All this in an earthquake zone, I ask you. It won’t last 60 years, you mark my words.”

Haha, ab.

The total cost of the Millennium Dome, now reckoned to be about £1billion http://www.propertyforum.com/property-in-the-uk/212-the-rise-and-fall-of-the-o2-arena-formerly-known-as-the-millennium-dome.html
Would have paid for several hospitals and schools (or paid off a tiny bit of our national debt) and I doubt very much if it will last even 60 years.

Last year we had a garden wall built. It was a job well done.
Will it last for 60 years? I don't care as I won't be here!
However, it did keep a young self-employed young man with a growing family in work for a week.

A devoted wife had spent her lifetime taking care of her husband.

Now, he was slipping in and out of a coma for several months, yet she stayed by his bedside every single day.

When he came to, he motioned for her to come nearer.

As she sat by him, he said, "You know what? You have been with me all through the bad times. When I got fired, you were there to support me. When my business failed, you were there. When I got shot, you were by my side. When we lost the house, you gave me support. When my health started failing, you were still by my side.

"You know what"?

"What dear?” she asks gently.

"I think you bring me bad luck."

Celadon, you will probably get pilloried, or worse, for that.
Good one.

I made my girlfriend's dreams come true and married her in a castle. You wouldn’t have thought it though from the miserable look on her face as we were bouncing around!

Must have been expensive, with inflation the way it is these days.

Don't you ever let her down!

It's my 35th wedding anniversary this year. It only seems like yesterday, I wish it was tomorrow......I'd cancel it!