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Just imagine what would happen in the UK if our clowns introduced gun legislation: and yet again it could be a good thing.

Just an aside:- "eat" is the only word that if you take the first letter and move it to the last, it spells its past tense "ate?"

THE High Court has ruled that any exchange of Love Hearts sweets constitutes a legal contract.
Judges ruling in the case of Donna Sheridan vs Wayne Hayes found that he had, as she maintained, entered into obligations to call her, give her a sweet kiss and to be gorgeous.
Hayes, now 24 and married with a child, fulfilled none of those promises. He must now go on a date with Donna to the local park where, after a mandatory three swigs of Mad Dog 20/20, he is obliged to snog her.
Lawyer Susan Traherne said: “There’s always been a degree of ambiguity surrounding Love Hearts which has been exploited to make promises of For Keeps and Heart Throb to which the giver had no intention of adhering.
“This ruling, which is retrospective and covers the last 30 years, means that teenage boys will no longer be able to claim giving a girl Cuddle Me was just the luck of the packet.
“It also means that Julian Cook is obligated to take me, 23 years on, to the school disco and to do the Macarena with me on the dance floor. And he has to get off with me afterwards or I will issue proceedings.”
The ruling has caused widespread panic, with anyone over 25 struggling to remember who exactly they gave Lush Lips, Dream Boy, Catch Me or Tickle Monster.
The UK’s teenagers remain largely unaffected, preferring to use What’s App and Snapchat to send each other sexually explicit images.

Crazy Laws - Vermont

Women must obtain written permission from their husbands to wear false teeth.

Whistling underwater is illegal.

I don't think many people will whistle underwater in Vermont.

That's probably because it's illegal.

And fairly difficult.

Oh, I'm not so sure. I can eat a Mars bar under water.

I wouldn't want to.

Crazy Laws - Virginia
Children are not to go trick-or-treating on Halloween.

It is illegal to tickle women.

THE act of shedding tears has been made emotionally meaningless by The X Factor.
The show’s over-exploitation of visible despair has disabled the sympathetic response formerly evoked by seeing a crying person.
Psychologist Emma Bradford said: “As a race we have always felt pity towards those weeping, assuming they were experiencing some genuine suffering.
“Now though we believe it’s either a devious ploy to avoid disappointment, or that the tearful person has been thwarted in their quest for fame.”
Plasterer Bill McKay said: “The wife was sobbing because her nan died. All I felt was mild annoyance and the urge to make withering comments from the sofa while eating crisps.
“I realised then that I had been conditioned. But I still couldn’t bring myself to hug her, instead I just went for a walk.”
Joanne Kramer of Cardiff agreed: “When my home was hit by a lorry, I threw myself on the floor, weeping and saying ‘No, please no,’ while curled up into a ball.
“Passers-by commented ‘Aw, look at the baby,’ ‘Was the nasty judge mean to you?’ and ‘Was it your dream? Was it your dreeeeeem?’.
“I wanted to explain that I was legitimately sad but I couldn’t, because I was crying too hard.”