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Hi, Charlies Human. I am Bubbles and am Commander in Chief of the Pipesmoker household. I decided to move in here, as the shed under which I was born, was less than comfortable. The Pipesmoker being seems to spend a lot of time doing crosswords, but I have a special wail to nag him with when it is time to exercise his tin opening skills. He is also quite useful when the brute from across the road comes in to eat my dinner. He chased him for dear life last night. Make sure your serving people are alert to the danger of intrusion.

Best wishes.

Bubbles

Dear Bubbles - Charlie has asked me to reply to you as he is exhausted with so much Political Discussion and has had to retire to a darkened room. He is always gratified when he sees evidence of the Proper Order of Things in other establishments as he works tirelessly to maintain it in his own, with, it must be said, varying success.
He also wishes me to say that he was being caustic in his comments about Larry, as he thought I should have realised. He is for equal opportunities all round, feminine side or not, and feels that anyone who does not take responsibility for dealing with their own rats, as others have to do, may well be seriously out of touch with society. But he is delighted that there is at least a job for Larry to go to.
As for intruders, he has faced that one too, and now wears a special necklace which keeps his private entrance secure.
5d. He's got it, but he's not telling me. There's trouble brewing.

P.S. He is horrified at the thought that Bubbles is possibly facing Violence in the Community and would offer his support if he still had his teeth.

Hi, Charlies Human,

Talking of rats, mice, shrews etc, the Pipesmoker being sees himself as a sort of Oscar Schindler. I take the trouble to bring theses presents in for him, and he rescues them and puts them back in the field. No gratitude, you know.

One day, I brought him in a bat. It was fun to watch it whizzing round his head, and him trying to catch it. The bat was an ugly thing. The Pipesmoker must have thought he was looking in a mirror.

Anyway, will close for now, as it is time for my fifteen hour nap.

B

Hi Bubbles - don't wish to disturb, but due to the lack of teeth I am no longer able to bring such delightful morsels to the feet of my Person. And as I am also stone deaf, I don't think I would hear a bat anyway, but I feel for you when faced with certain insensitivities and like your way of handing the situation.
My Person would answer you for me, as is her usual practise, but she's feeling rather testy at the moment, having just had dealings with A Large Organisation. I shall follow your example and keep my head down. The fact that she can't finish the crossword doesn't improve her temper either.
I do like to have a correspondence with my peers; my Person thinks I can't use the computer, but I just remind her of Archy, the Vers Libre poet, who worked the typewriter by banging the keys with his head. Where there's a will there's a way.
Enjoy your nap. C.

Bubbles, that should read 'handling'.

Bubbles enjoys rats

Larry likes rats as well