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AN EXCLUSIVE City development of £1m apartments has been scandalised by the revelation that someone lives there.

More than three-quarters of the Renzo Piano-designed Cube Point apartments overlooking the Thames are up for sale after the discovery that bond trader Joseph Turner has been living on the premises for long as six months.

Prince Rashad Al Maddah said: “This used to be a lovely mixed-use residential and high-end retail complex.

“You could stand out on your balcony and hear nothing but the gentle hum of your property accumulating value before returning to your suite at the Dorchester.

“But the other weekend I noticed a man dodging furtively into the elevator like he actually knew the place.

“Turns out he’s been living there full-time. Food in the cupboards, sleeping in the bed, showering, the lot.

“He may as well be a squatter.”

Turner said: “I know I’ve broken the service agreement, but my place in Dubai’s tied up in my divorce, the apartment in Paris is being sublet and the house in the Cotswolds was set on fire for tax reasons.

“If it helps at all I am a non-dom.”

Caledon, got quite a chuckle from the legal ramifications of the Opus case.

Here are the facts:
http://www.snopes.com/horrors/freakish/opus.asp
Good site to check the veracity of stories, especially if they appear on the Web.

95% balderdash because of this?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4E38mknKbz0

Keep 'em coming. Cheers.

Thanks Syzygy,

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The cost of raising a medium-size dog to the age of eleven:
£ 10,120.00

In Shakespeare's time, mattresses were secured on bed frames by ropes. When you pulled on the ropes, the mattress tightened, making the bed firmer to sleep on.
Hence the phrase...'Goodnight , sleep tight'

At the banquet of their 25th wedding anniversary, Tom was asked to give his friends a brief account of the benefits of a marriage of such a long duration.

"Tell us Tom, just what is it you have learned from all those wonderful years with your wife"?

Tom responds, "Well, I've learned that marriage is the best teacher of all. It teaches you loyalty, forbearance, meekness, self-restraint, forgiveness and a great many other qualities you wouldn't have needed if you'd stayed single!"

Trick question on a chemistry test:

Q: How many atoms in a bowl of guacamole?

A: Avocado's number.

Celadon #1762, how much? Does that include levitation?

:) syzygy!

"The first law of dietetics seems to be: if it tastes good, it's bad for you." ~ Issac Asimov

From the DM.

A SELFIE stick emblazoned with the Coke logo more or less sums up where we are as a society, it has been confirmed.

Experts agree that a branded plastic rod that assists the narcissism of cretins is the perfect symbol for humanity in 2015.

Professor Henry Brubaker, of the Institute for Studies, said: “Civilizations of the past left their mark on the world by building great cities, or awe-inspiring monuments, or taming their natural environment.”

“We, by contrast, think the height of cultural achievement is to take pictures of our idiot faces while simultaneously advertising a corporate behemoth that hawks brown sugary piss.

“It’s not exactly the Colossus of Rhodes, is it?”

27-year old Tom Booker from Bedford said: “I used to worry that I would never be able to express who I was to future generations. But thanks to my Coca-Cola selfie stick, posterity will understand that I am a preening simpleton in hock to consumerism and vanity.”