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ws - 2015-04-30

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Why would you throw a couple hundred dollars at an overpriced MP3 player when you could get the SAME thing for just $14.97!!!

Think about it: what do you need an MP3 player for?

TO LISTEN TO MUSIC! Duh!

They've gone out of their way to convince you that you need a fancy $100 or $200 device to do it... uh, why?

All MP3 players play MP3s. Period!

This fantastic 4GB MP3 player lets you take ALL your music on the go! (And because you saved $185, you can buy a LOT more music than the crazy people buying those other MP3 players)

If your average song is about 3 minutes long, that's over 50 hours worth of continuous music listening! But this thing has the ability to store up to 2,000 songs if they fit!

Plus, unlike some other MP3 players that require having special audio format, this one plays ALL the common audio types: MP3, WMA, OGG, APE, FLAC, WAV, and LRC!

If you have some videos on your PC that you want to watch or show off on the go, this device is PERFECT for it! The 1.8" LCD screen gives you plenty of room to watch, without making the MP3 player too bulky! It also features a cool clip so you always have it handy! The added versatility gives this device a LOT more bang for its buck!

If it did anything else, people would knocking our doors down to get one!

I guess I better board up the doors...

If you're at a meeting, or in class, or work a job like one in the court system, a voice recorder can be invaluable!

They store right on the device itself and you can even listen to them from it! That's an instant solution!

I've been on the hunt for another blockbuster MP3 player for MONTHS!

THIS IS IT, EVERYONE! It's got EVERY feature you could want, a fantastic display, the perfect size and shape for a mobile device...

AND AGAIN, It's ONLY $14.97!!!

At that price these aren't gonna last long! I'd hurry up and click the link below!

http://store.worldstart.com/product/10388

A client called my help desk saying she couldn’t send an e-mail.

I spent some time troubleshooting the issue and thought we had taken care of the problem.

Just as I was finishing up, she interrupted me to ask, “Wait a minute, do I type @ in lower- or uppercase?”

A recent study found that the average golfer walks about 900
miles a year. Another study found golfers drink, on average,
22 gallons of alcohol a year, which means, on average, golfers
get about 41 miles to the gallon. Kind of makes you proud. I
almost feel like a hybrid.

You'd think golfers would be teetotal!

March was when my son celebrated his 15th birthday and I got him an iPhone. He just loved it. Who wouldn't?

I celebrated my birthday in July and my wife made me very happy when she bought me an iPad.

My daughter's birthday was in August so I got her an iPod Touch.

September came by, so for my wife’s birthday I bought her an iRon.

It was around then that the fight started. What my wife failed to recognize is that the iRon can be integrated into the home network with the iWash, iCook and iClean. This unfortunately activated the iRate.

Which led me to the iHospital and iGet out Thursday.

How do those dead flys get into the enclosed light fixtures?

THE last of the renegade Nazis living in a self-sufficient lunar colony has died, aged 95.

Hans Weishaupt passed away in his bed in a geodesic dome on the shores of the Sea of Tranquility, renamed the Meer von Lebensraum.

Historian Denys Finch Hatton said: “Hans was one of the many rocket scientists recruited by NASA to help with their space programme, which they did on condition that they were given half the moon’s surface to colonise for themselves.

“They landed in 1967 – two years before Neil Armstrong, because they wanted to get it all nice and Aryan ready for him – and swiftly established their capital city, Reichsvolk.”

Weishaupt, who kept in touch with world leaders with birthday Skype calls threatening rocket attacks on major cites, died promising that a fourth Reich would rain blood upon the earth.

He leaves behind an army of indestructible robot servants and a 250ft statue of Hitler visible from Mars.

THE Government has today confirmed that it will be replacing the Human Rights Act with Warhammer 40,000: The Rules.

The 208-page science fiction wargame rulebook is seen as the ideal replacement because it allows every possible type of conflict to be resolved with only a handful of dice.

Justice secretary Michael Gove said: “The legal system is convoluted and impossible for the layman to understand. Using Warhammer 40,000 we can reproduce that perfectly, but on a much smaller scale using beautifully painted miniatures.

“If you are claiming a right to privacy, for example, we roll two twenty-sided dice to determine your score, take away any debuffs – low income, being foreign – and measure it against the government’s own total.

“We make our rolls behind the books so you can’t see, but it’s all perfectly fair.”

The first case, a challenge of the government’s right to detain terror suspects without trial, has already been heard on Kulth the War World and ended in the defeat of the Imperium of Man by Tyranid Biomorphs without the right to appeal.

Gove added: “My office has been asked why we chose to use the science-fictional Warhammer 40,000 rules rather than the original Warhammer Fantasy setting.

“Simply, we are not barbarians.”

"There are two kinds of men who never amount to much: those who cannot do what they are told and those who can do nothing else."
~ Cyrus H. Curtis

It was mealtime during our trip on a small airline in the Northwest.

"Would you like dinner?" the flight attendant asked the man seated in front of me.

"What are my choices?" he asked.

"Yes or no," she replied.