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You've probably had enough of these....but.
Does eating an English burger make you a little hoarse?
If you are what you eat it makes me "quick, cheap and easy.

Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?

Glad to see you back Celadon. We've missed your pearls of wisdom.

Thank you K, just back from Gracelands and and the battlefields around Vicksburg:

Why don't you ever see the headline 'Psychic Wins Lottery'?

Is there a visitor centre or museum at Vicksburg or is it all down to your own knowledge and imagination?

Did you do the " Gracland" ???

Anyway, do you have to attend a clinic, to be clinically obese?

K. There is a visitor centre at Vicksburg's National Military Park where they show a film about the famous siege, then you take a coach with a guide around the battlefield which is laid out with original confederate and union ordnance. Also on the site is the raised union ironclad "hunley".

P. We did the Gracelands, Tupelo and Sun Studios tours and finished up at the Mardi Gras in The Big Easy.

Crazy Laws - North Dakota
It is illegal to lie down and fall asleep with your shoes on.

It is legal to shoot a native on horseback, provided you are in a covered wagon.

Beer and pretzels can't be served at the same time in any bar or restaurant.

In Fargo ND, one may be jailed for wearing a hat while dancing, or even for wearing a hat to a function where dancing is taking place.

It is time to elect a new world leader, and only your vote counts..
Here are the facts about the three candidates.

Candidate A:
Associates with crooked politicians, and consults with astrologists.
He's had two mistresses.
He also chain smokes
And drinks 8 to 10 martinis a day.

Candidate B:
He was kicked out of office twice,
Sleeps until noon,
Used opium in college
And drinks a quart of whiskey every evening.

Candidate C:
He is a decorated war hero,
He's a vegetarian,
Doesn't smoke,
Drinks an occasional beer
And never committed adultery.


Which of these candidates would be your choice?

Coral bookies are offering 1000/1 for Bob Geldolf to be next pope